Better to Rust

Ever since McDonalds began charging for ketchup, Davey the Drummer has started bringing his own bottle. The rest of the band mock him, but they also ask to use his sauce. Davey lets them - eventually. But he goes first. He begins by tearing open the side of the paper bag, laying it out flat so he can scatter the fries across it. Then he coaxes out the sauce - a few slaps on the base to get it going and a turn at the end so that the last bit doesn't get on the bottle. Only then does he pass the ketchup to Gary.

It's late, so they've stopped for food at Shoreham's 24 hour McDonalds. The ketchup hasn't reached Sammy the Bassist, but he's already demolished half of his quarter pounder in three big bites when he comes out with it: "I'm going to leave the band. Move on."

The other two stop eating. "What are you talking about?" asks Davey, shocked.

"After the gigs we're committed to, of course," says Sammy. "But I think it's right. We're in our late forties now. I think it's time to stop being in a Nirvana covers band."

It's the elephant in the room. Davey turns to Gary, wants to know what he is going to say. It doesn't matter so much for the drummer as the other two, as he's hidden behind his kit. But Gary has to pretend to be Kurt Cobain night after night.

"It is ridiculous," says Gary. He's holding a single fry, spreading out the puddle of ketchup in front of him, not looking up. "But that's why it matters. That's why the audiences haven't stopped coming, even after I cut all my hair off. It's because they never saw him get old. We were all cheated of that."

Sammy's going, of course. He's not even the band's first bassist. They always give the excuse that they're all too old to be Nirvana - even though that was true when they were hired. Soon, Gary will be twice the age that Cobain was when he died, but fans keep turning up.

"In the early days, everyone wanted us pretending to be young," says Gary. "Now they're coming because we're older, like they are." He eats the chip, which is coated in ketchup. "I sometimes ask myself why so many young people come to see us, but I guess it's something similar. It's a better ending to the story. Sammy, if you want to go, that's fine. We'll audition someone else as soon as we can."

Back at the van, Davey sits in the driver's seat and gets Gary to stash the ketchup in the glove box - he'll need a new one soon. Sammy falls asleep before they drop him off, so they have to wake him. Then it's Gary's turn, before Davey drives out to his house in Coldean. He has a couple of jobs tomorrow, booked for the afternoon, so he can sleep in. His slips into bed without waking his wife and is soon asleep. Before dropping off, he thinks they should hire someone younger as the new bassist. Davey likes the idea of passing the torch - their group could outlive him and Gary. It's unlikely, but if the band was still going when Davey died then, for all he would know, it might last centuries. Imagine that.

Coming Up

On May 8th, Mayer Nissim will be doing an event at the Camden Assembly Rooms in London to launch his book Joy Division and New Order: Album by Album. As support, he has a New Order tribute band and a Joy Division tribute band. Tickets are now available and if it were possible for me to get to London, I would be there.

Further off, in August, I’m helping to run a gallery show at Hebden Bridge’s In a Land, featuring Sooxanne Rolfe’s Wilde Volk project. There will be a host of events around this, which we’ll announce in the coming weeks.

Background

I was obsessed with Nirvana as a teenager. In that era, the music press were scornful of anyone they perceived as too old. In Cobain’s suicide note, he quoted Neil Young’s song from the end of the 70s, Hey Hey, My My (Into the Black): “I don’t have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away.”

As I get older, I’m more aware of the tragedy of not seeing Kurt Cobain fade away. There would never have been another Nevermind - the conditions for that sort of hit passed with Napster and the Internet. But it’s been great to see Cobain’s peers growing older, finding ways to keep making music without selling out or being inauthentic. It’s a shame he’s not alongside them.