The Year of No Resolve
2022 is going to be the year of living effortlessly
“New year, new me!” is something I’ve been seeing a lot of. And it’s great if you are one of those people who want to take the start of the new year as an incentive to improve yourself, but that is definitely not me.
I am tired. I am exhausted down to my bones, I am weary and depleted. Please stop asking me how I’m going to change in the new year, what I’m going to to do make my life better, how I am going to become a better person. I’m not doing any of that. I am not putting any effort into changing my life or myself. Honestly, I just want to be left alone. Let me be.
Sure, I’d love to lose weight. I would love to break some bad habits. I’d like to be more productive, more accomplished. But not now. Not in 2022. I need some time to just be. I’ve had a full year of being sad, depressed, and anxious and the demand that I somehow find the energy to change those things just because a new year is starting is putting a lot of pressure on me and I don’t like it.
There are hundreds of prompts like this on twitter and Facebook and at first each one was making me feel bad about myself because I don’t have any resolutions or plans for 2022. But then I was perfectly honest with this one. I answered: nothing. I don’t want to accomplish anything in 2022. I don’t want to make goals or resolutions or promises to myself. I just want to be left alone, I just want to be me without stressing myself out by making declarations that I will never follow through on. I am going to be 60 years old in 2022. I’m done accomplishing. I’m done putting up goalposts. I am punting this year. Take your ball back and run with it, I’m not looking to score any points.
There are so many things I could have answered this prompt with. Write a new novel. Put together a book of my 100 word stories. Take up hiking. Learn how to be less of a procrastinator. Sign up for a dating site and get out there again. But I don’t want to. I have no desire to become a different person that I am now. I have no energy to expend on these things. When I say I am tired, I mean it. And I want to rest. I want a break from trying to be a better me.
I am going on hiatus. For 2022, there will be no changes. There will be no effort. There will be no exercise routine or weight loss program or self help books. Please don’t ask me to do anything, to go anywhere, please don’t try to spark change in me. Let me just sit in my house and watch tv and read some books and listen to music. It seems like the ideal life to me at this time. My energy for friendships and socializing, for exploring and discovering new joys in life is gone. I just want to be left to my own devices, to be left alone. I’m in a phase of life post divorce where I am getting to learn to be comfortable with myself, with being my own company. Let me do that. Let me be me.
Resolutions are great for some people. They are not for everyone. For some of us, the start of the new year doesn’t mark anything special. New Year’s Day is for watching outdoor hockey and nursing a slight hangover. It’s not for sweeping changes and life altering declarations. At least not for me. Not in 2022. Let me be. Just let me be. I promise you that I will be at my happiest this way.
For those of you marking the new year with promises for the future, I wish you the best of luck. For those who aim to accomplish things in 2022, I’m happy for you and hope you realize your goals and dreams. I do wish the best for you and the world at large this coming year. But I am tired. And I am going to rest.