April 29, 2024

closing time

so long and thanks for everything

When I started this newsletter on substack in October of 2020, I had no idea if it would stick or not. I tend to take on projects and abandon them soon after, so I wasn’t sure where I was going with this. It started out as a place to serialize my novel (lol) and when the novel was done, I just kept writing. The newsletter carried me through the the later months of the pandemic. When my husband called it quits on us in 2021, it became a harbor for me, a safe place to carry out my grief and anger and sadness. It was there for me to vent through hospital stays and bouts of depression; I spent weeks reporting on the joys in my life. I wrote about albums I love and told you my childhood stories and raged against the world here.

I loved doing this. I loved having an outlet, sure, but I what I loved most was when I was going through all those stages of grief I heard from so many people who have been there, who offered to listen to me and guide me, to virtually hold my hand while I cried. I heard from people who were touched by my writing, and that warmed my heart.

I have much more writing in me, but not here. I want to write for other publications. I feel like here, at this newsletter, I’ve given you my all. I voiced every feeling I had about my separation, the divorce, the betrayal. And through all that, I healed. Writing all of it out and publishing it was an act of empowerment. I am ready to move on.

I know there are so many other things to write about besides mourning a marriage for four years. And I’d like to write about those things elsewhere, partly because I want to know I can do it, and partly because I need the money.

So this is it. Almost four years of this and it’s over now. You’ve all been great. I can’t put into words how much it means to me that you read and absorbed my writing. That you told me you liked it. That you came back week after week for more. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for sharing these last four years with me, for being my sounding board, my audience, my cheering section, my friends.

I wish you all well. You know where else to find me.