america, we have a problem
writing about it without writing about it
Sometimes I don’t know what I want to write about; I only know it’s been a few days and I should put out a newsletter and then I try to think about a topic that would be interesting to read about. Sometimes I don’t come up with anything at all, and sometimes an idea just comes to me. There are other times when the news dictates to me what I need to write about. This is one of those times.
I don’t want to write about a mass murder, but I need to. I could put a bunch of angered tweets out instead, but they won’t serve the purpose of purging me of my despair and anger like writing something out would. I don’t want to spend my Sunday morning writing about how Tucker Carlson and Fox News are partly responsible for what happened in Buffalo on Saturday, but I need to. I need to express my sentiments and relieve myself of the rage, I need to tell you what is going on here, as if you didn’t already know.
But what purpose does it serve other than a selfish one? I can sit here and rant and yell and cry about it to you, and maybe feel a tiny bit better when it’s done, but it’s an impotent sort of anger to do that, to just throw some words down that a couple of hundred people will read, that will maybe rile them up and get them mad and sad at the same time, then we are all in the same boat, just chugging along this river that seems to have no end.
I could talk about guns but that’s less the issue here than racism and hatred are. I could write about conspiracy theories and how they are perpetuated online and on television, and how we are helpless to stop their spread, especially when they are being touted by the biggest name in the 24 hour news business. I could write about how a former president empowered racist, hateful people to be bold and brazen about their beliefs, but you all know that and you’re already angry about that so what’s the point.
There’s a lot to be said about all of this and many pundits will take to their laptops and write lengthy screeds about it, and some of them will push this as a mental health problem when it is not that at all because it’s an America problem. Oh yes, we have a problem. I could write about how that problem is not going to get solved, but will keep getting worse because we have governors, heads of states, who believe it’s bad to teach children about racism, that we should just let everyone believe that America is and has always been a beacon of light when that’s not the case.
I don’t know if I want to write deeply about all that. I could. I could spend ten paragraphs telling you things you already know, spitting out emotions you already feel, crying for help that’s just not coming. I could write for hours about America’s problems, but I have no solutions because I truly believe we are beyond repair.
I am sad, I am angry, I am at a loss for words at this point. My sadness is for all those who lost loved ones yesterday, and for this country. My anger is for all the online forums and major news outlets that give air to conspiracy theories, that promote racism in both subtle and overt ways.
America, we have a problem. And I no longer know what to say about it.