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May 5, 2024

Whatever: Have you tried turning your car off and on again?

Well, fancy that!

  • Two Trump Media investors plead guilty to insider trading.
  • Trump Media's auditor was charged with massive fraud by the SEC.
  • The CEO of OpenAI said he thinks that ethics need to be rethought.
  • Another Boeing whistleblower who "was noted for having a healthy lifestyle" suddenly got an infection and died.
  • A Harvard University honesty researcher who was found to have committed research misconduct also seems to have plagiarized material in her books.
  • Forbes found that every billionaire under 30 inherited their wealth.
  • The NY director of RFK Jr's Presidential campaign admitted that the goal isn't to win, but to help Trump beat Biden.
  • Conservative party staffers have been running a network of racist and white supremacist Facebook groups.

Tesla

  • Thanks to a new law passed by Texas Republicans, Tesla gets to ignore Austin environmental regulations at its factory, located between a bird observatory and a wildlife sanctuary.
  • Taking a Tesla Cybertruck through a car wash can void your warranty, and may require a five hour reboot.
  • Tesla laid off more than 10% of staff as sales fell.
  • Tesla also laid off everyone working on their supercharger network, everyone working on new vehicles, and their entire public policy team.
  • Tesla is asking shareholders to give Elon a $56 billion pay package. It's only fair.

Other business

  • Williams-Sonoma was fined millions of dollars (again) for labeling products "Made in USA" when they were actually made in China.
  • The four major US mobile phone companies were all fined millions of dollars for illegally selling customers' location information without consent.
  • Amazon have been outsourcing animation to China, and China has been outsourcing it to North Korea in violation of sanctions. No word on who North Korea are outsourcing it to.
  • Medicare expanded its forms so they can fit 10 digit numbers, to allow for modern US medical bills.
  • Google agreed to delete the data it had kept about people's "incognito" browser sessions — data it had previously claimed it was impossible to identify and delete.

"AI"

  • Washington State Lottery put up an AI app to put your uploaded face on a computer-generated image depicting a dream vacation. It generated a fake topless photo of one woman, so they took it down again.
  • A Catholic advocacy group put up an AI priest. It told people it was a real priest and that it's OK to baptize a baby in Gatorade, so they removed the bot's priest outfit.
  • NYC put up a chatbot to offer people advice on how to run a business. It told them it was OK for bosses to take workers' tips and for landlords to discriminate based on source of income.
  • Adobe's "ethical" AI wasn't trained on stolen images — but it was trained on images generated by other AI systems trained on stolen images.
  • Facebook's AI chatbot barged into a conversation and said it has an academically gifted disabled child.
  • Amazon ditched its "just walk out" stores after a report claimed that the AI was actually thousands of people in India watching video. (Amazon says that's totally not true.)
  • Several businesses published source code that included a fake package dependency generated by AI.
  • Google's new AI search recommended scam sites and malware.
  • …so, you know, please don't use AI apps to identify edible mushrooms.

Education

  • Boston University graduate workers are on strike, so the university administrators suggested replacing them with AI bots.
  • A Pennsylvania school apologized for a homework assignment that instructed students to “pretend to be a white master looking to buy a slave.”

Religion

  • A Polish Catholic priest was jailed after a man collapsed after taking too many boner pills at the Priest's private sex orgy.

Nature

  • A man ended up in intensive care after being bitten by a toilet rat.
  • An 80 year old man plead guilty to genetically engineering giant sheep.
  • If I fits, I ships.
  • A three year old girl said there were monsters in her closet, it turned out it was actually 60,000 bees.
  • Zebras escape in North Bend, Washington, and are captured by rodeo clowns.

Random weirdness

  • A woman cared for a hat bobble and took it to a wildlife hospital, thinking it was a baby hedgehog.
  • Three men stranded on a Pacific island were rescued after spelling out "HELP" with palm leaves.
  • A man returned to Montreal from vacation and found a letter from the government of Quebec informing him that he was dead.
  • An ex-Caltrain employee was charged with building secret homes inside Caltrain stations.

Consumer products

  • At last, a Pringles holster for your Crocs!
  • At last, blue milk!
  • At last, sushi rice balls shaped by a Japanese girl's armpit!
  • At last, Oscar Mayer Gummy Bologna!
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