The Weekly Whatever: Un**n! R*str**ms!
The ongoing crisis
- 
A RAND study finds that conservatives swallow bullshit fake news much more than those on the left. 
- 
Another study finds that a subset of conservatives regurgitate fake news much more than anyone else too. 
Business
- Amazon is building employees a new chat app that will protect them from bad words like “union” and “restrooms”.
Saving the children
- 
Florida education agency rejects math textbooks it claims contain “critical race theory”. 
- 
After Texas calls for parents of transgender children to be investigated, many staff of the state’s Child Protective Services resign, leaving the agency even more understaffed than it was before. 
- 
Austin school district reviewing safety protocols after a parent dressed as the Easter bunny hands out easter eggs containing condoms. (It was a mistake caused by grabbing the wrong eggs.) 
Role models
- 
Tennessee Republican state senator gives a speech about how you can turn your life around even if you’re homeless. Guess who he chooses as his example?. 
- 
Mississippi’s Republican governor declares April to be both Genocide Awareness Month and Confederate Heritage Month. 
Art vs crapto
- 
Person who bought an NFT of Jack Dorsey’s first tweet for $2.9m puts it on sale with an asking price of $48m, gets a top bid of $277 (no m). 
- 
Connecticut mechanic finds a bunch of actual art in a dumpster, discovers it’s worth millions. 
Law and order
- 
Cops stop car for not having its headlights on, discover it’s driving itself. Fortunately it’s a white car, and when it tries to drive away it doesn’t end up in a hail of bullets. 
- 
Woman who sued a Tennessee sheriff for assaulting and forcibly baptizing her during a traffic stop mysteriously turns up dead. 
Media
- 
New York Public Library for the Performing Arts has a new wax cylinder player that can decode the fragile recordings using a laser. 
- 
New premium CNN+ streaming channel gets around 10,000 daily viewers. Yes, there are at least 10,000 people who will pay money to watch CNN. 
For science!
- 
Study suggests that fungi communicate with each other using a vocabulary of up to 50 words. 
- 
Do cats pick better sleeping spots than humans? Research student decides to find out by sleeping wherever her cats decide to sleep and measuring her sleep quality. 
