The Weekly Whatever: Tuna-friendly dolphin
Woodpecker engineering
- Microsoft outsourced your Skype and Cortana audio to China with no security measures in place.
Wait, what?
- American Library Association conference has free speech zone.
Dystopia technologica
- Secretive company scraped everyone’s photos to create a massive facial recognition database; police are now using it.
For science!
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Scientists put 3D glasses on cuttlefish and show them 3D movies of shrimp.
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Bearded men are more attractive to women, unless the women are sqeamish about lice, ticks and fleas.
Threat Level Orange
- Trump plans 100% tariff on European wines.
That’s some mighty fine police work there, Lou
- Undercover cop in Houston shoots man and charges him with making a terroristic threat by washing his car windshield.
Well, fancy that!
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Conservative pundit and Roger Stone supporter sentenced to prison for stealing her mother’s social security checks.
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The advertising industry is systematically breaking European privacy laws.
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Disney renames 20th Century Fox so people won’t think it has anything to do with Fox News.
We’re fucked
- How to stop freaking out and tackle climate change.
Sick, sad world
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Stolen therapy goat reunited with depressed cow.
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Man asks to settle divorce via samurai sword fight.
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Elementary school kids doused in jet fuel as plane makes emergency landing.
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Crystal meth Christmas card leads to unhappy new year.
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Ex Drexel professor accused of spending $96,000 of grant money at strip clubs.
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Man posts TikTok video of his wife squeezing his back zits; attentive viewer alerts him that he has skin cancer.
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Reality TV star Gary Golding grills and eats baby dolphin.
Late stage capitalism
- Spectrum Internet discontinues its home security service, leaving customers with bricked hardware.