The Weekly Whatever: The Unification of Donald Trump
Spare a thought for the victims: The ap apologizes for Tweet marking 9/11 as the anniversary of Nickelback’s Silver Side Up.
Metaphor: UK water treatment plants can’t get the chemicals they need because of Brexit, so the government tells them to go ahead and dump sewage in rivers instead.
The hero we needed: Wikipedia had a Nazi-glorification problem. One woman set out to solve it.
Tiny violin time: Capitol riot suspect asks if he can have his ankle monitor removed, because the beeping is embarrassing.
Get lost: Minnesota now has a hemp maze in Zumbrota.
Bishops need a better union: Spanish bishop quits the church over his love of Satanic-themed erotic fiction; Tennessee sheriff’s deputy keeps his job in spite of his love of screaming the N word.
Claim on the fire insurance: Tenant quits apartment, leaving behind 19 tarantulas and a python.
Not quite as scary as Pablo Escobar’s hippos: Attack-trained iguanas of the Du Pont Dynasty.
Fowl language: Australia has a talking duck who can say “you bloody fool”.
Worse bird: Taronga zoo lyrebird can perfectly imitate the sound of a screaming human baby.
Dick bandits: Toronto raccoons crash bachelorette party and eat all the penis candy.
The power of whiteness: Cops pull over white suspect, but let him drive away “due to his unpredictable and violent history”.
A supposedly clever thing they’ll never try again: Libertarian cryptocurrency enthusiasts decide to buy an old cruise ship and set it up as a government-free city in international waters. Hilarity ensues.
Sell ‘em for Bitcoin? Locals along the Italian Riviera are fed up with seeing empty cruise ships.
Pot, meet kettle: Amazon complains that Elon Musk’s companies are rule breakers.
And not the Catholic ones: Facebook apologizes after viewers of video featuring Black men are asked if they would like to “keep seeing videos about Primates”.
Nothing suspicious here: Employee files complaint with NRLB charging Apple with unlawful retaliation for her workplace safety concerns and complaints about sexism. Apple responds by accusing her of leaking unspecified proprietary secrets and then firing her.
Turd generation: New iRobot Roomba can recognize dog poop and avoid smearing it all over your home.
Another oil company talking point ruined: Siemens launches recyclable wind turbine blades.