The Weekly Whatever: The Quest For Last Week's Tagline
Quote of the week
“Why is it that every family goes into politics and enriches themselves?”
— Eric Trump, criticizing the Biden family.
Woodpecker engineering
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Equifax used ‘admin’ as login and password for a credit dispute portal.
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Voice from Nest camera threatens to steal baby.
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Man dies in burning Tesla after auto-retracting door handles malfunction.
Wait, what?
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Trump announces building of border wall in Colorado.
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Laura Ingraham’s podcast guest claims that transgender people are trying to build a new race that’s part human and part machine.
Dystopia technologica
Threat Level Orange
- Ethnic cleansing? Not a bad idea to get out of the way. Oil fields now at risk? Oh, in that case send the troops back in.
That’s some mighty fine police work there, Lou
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Tennessee deputy sued over roadside anal search and forced baptism. (Different lawsuits, but filed on the same day.)
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Connecticut police chief sees nothing wrong with one of his officers being a paid member of The Proud Boys.
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Fresno cop shoots unarmed teenager in the back of the head. “Good shot” says a colleague.
Well, fancy that!
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Trump refuses to pay legal bills after losing another lawsuit.
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Zuckerberg has dinner with pundits “across the spectrum”, none of them from the left; announces new trusted paid news service featuring Breitbart.
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The Biden Ukraine conspiracy theories were launched by a man recently indicted for foreign influence on US elections, with the help of a Fox News pundit.
We’re fucked
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Florida Republicans admit sea level rise is happening, lament having spent a decade in denial.
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Qatar starts air conditioning the desert by burning fossil fuels.
Sick, sad world
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Man with his own name tattooed on his neck arrested for giving fake name .
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In tests, 95% of baby food contained lead, arsenic, mercury or cadmium.
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Library reviews policy on service and support animals after man brings in a bag of snakes.
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North Carolina to remove dreadlocked stuffed monkey from police cruiser.
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Marine Corps vet who served in Iraq deported to El Salvador.
Not The Onion
- Black teacher tells student not to call him the N word, so the school fires him for saying the N word.
Late stage capitalism
- Burger King teams up with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare to become Burger Town , offers chicken sandwich called The Sniper.
This should end well
- Last month, WeWork’s attempt at an IPO failed. They valued themselves at $47 billion, but investors weren’t convinced. That didn’t prevent WeWork from planning a lavish party in London, though it did lead to founder Adam Neumann stepping down as CEO. So this month, it’s the WeWork emergency bailout! Adam Neumann gets to be a consultant to the company for $185 million. He also gets a $500m loan to help him repay a personal loan he took out from JPMorgan using his WeWork shares as collateral. SoftBank will throw another $7 billion on the fire, adding to the $10.5 billion it has already “invested” plus an existing $5 billion loan. Meanwhile, WeWork wants to lay off 40% of its staff, but can’t because it can’t afford their severance payments.
The Guillotine Marketing Board
- Amazon worker fired for spending an extra hour with her dying mother-in-law when she had already used up her 10 days per year of paid time off.
Schadenfreude Saturday
- “March for Trump” protesters left stranded after failing to pay bus company.
I now pronounce you man and dinosaur.
Ah, there it is!