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March 28, 2020

The Weekly Whatever: Still very viral I'm afraid

Quotes of the week

'You know, we don't shut down the economy to save every single life that's threatened by a wide-spread disease. We just don't.' — Brit Hume.

'We'll gradually bring those people back and see what happens. Some of them will get sick, some may even die, I don't know.' — Dick Kovacevich, former CEO and chairman of Wells Fargo.

'People should ask themselves whether this coronavirus "pandemic" could be a big hoax' — Ron Paul, 6 days before Rand Paul tested positive for SARS-CoV-2

Wait, what?

  • COVID-19 causing smell loss by silencing Sonic Hedgehog.

We're fucked

  • Large ecosystems like the Amazon Rainforest could collapse within a lifetime.

Sick, sad world

  • Missouri man licks deodorants at Walmart for coronavirus video.

  • Coronavirus party succeeds.

  • CDC launches fundraiser.

This should end well

  • Liberty University welcoming 5,000 students back to campus after Spring Break.

Late stage capitalism

  • Gilead's potential COVID-19 drug is given 'rare disease' designation to protect the company from the danger that the drug might be made available as an affordable generic.

  • Prosecutors thought Walmart was criminally negligent fueling the opioid epidemic, but Trump appointees killed the indictment.

The Guillotine Marketing Board

  • Joel Freedman buys a hospital in Philadelphia, refuses to let it be used for coronavirus patients unless the city will pay him $910,000 a month.

  • New Haven asks for help housing police and firefighters helping fight coronavirus; Yale says no.

  • David Geffen posts photos of him socially distancing from his $200m superyacht in the Grenadines.

  • Austin company demands that employees agree to a pay deduction if they receive a government stimulus check.

Schadenfreude Saturday

  • Mar-a-Lago is closed.

Actual good news

  • 15 minute coronavirus test approved.

Going viral

  • Boss of Hobby Lobby decides to keep stores open because his wife had a revelation during prayer. Instructs store managers to promote virus-related merch, reminds them time off due to illness will come from their vacation time.

  • Italian man arrested for going out to play Pokémon Go.

  • Rand Paul blocks coronavirus relief package, gets tested for coronavirus, works for 6 days with other Republicans, goes to the gym and takes a swim even though it's closed, has lunch with Republican pals, then discovers he's positive.

  • Several months before the coronavirus pandemic began, the Trump administration eliminated a key American public health position in Beijing intended to help detect disease outbreaks in China.

  • Florida County Commissioner says you can kill coronavirus by holding a blow drier up to your nose, based on info from One America News Network; warns that "there's a lot of baloney out there on social media"

  • Trump supporter who thought coronavirus was mass hysteria is one of the first to die in Virginia.

  • While doctors and nurses use homemade masks, the government has 1.5 million N95 masks sitting in a warehouse but won't use them because their expiry date has passed.

  • Trump admin decides not to spend $1 billion on ventilators.

  • Rhode Island starts checkpoints to stop people from New York.

  • Three unaccompanied migrant children in detention test positive for coronavirus.

  • Wearing a mask is probably more effective than washing your hands.

  • US government auctioned off N95 respirator masks in February as surplus.

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