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November 23, 2019

The Weekly Whatever: Squid pro crow

Quote of the week

”…we have to keep punching at it and punching at it and punching at it.”

— Joe Biden, explaining what he thinks we need to do about violence against women

Correction of the week

NOTE: This story has been updated. Alexander Vindman received a Purple Heart after being wounded by an IED, or improvised explosive device, not an IUD, or intrauterine device. We regret the error.

— GQ magazine

Wait, what?

  • South Dakota introduces new ad campaign: Meth. We’re on it.

  • Movie about Harriet Tubman was first pitched to the studio in 1994; they suggested that Julia Roberts play the lead.

Dystopia technologica

  • Amazon says police can keep Ring camera video for as long as they like, and share it with whoever they want.

Threat Level Orange

  • DOJ to allow movie studios to buy out movie theaters and make them only show their own movies.

  • For the first time since records began, the US took in zero refugees last month.

Well, fancy that!

  • Professor who wrote the book on money laundering arrested for money laundering.

  • That Dakota Keystone pipeline leak? Yeah, actually it was 10x worse than previously reported.

  • Noel Gallagher of Oasis, who was pro-Brexit, applied for an Irish passport so he wouldn’t be inconvenienced traveling around Europe.

  • Nikki Haley used an unclassified e-mail system to send confidential classified material.

  • Chick-fil-A turnaround on anti-LGBT groups was bullshit.

We’re fucked

  • Maybe try functional denial?

Get out your tiny violin

  • Customs and Border Patrol officer who worked on deportations discovers he’s an illegal immigrant and about to be deported.

Sick, sad world

  • Swans go from house to house, knocking on doors and demanding food.

  • Three Indiana judges suspended after a brawl in a White Castle leaves two of them injured.

Late stage capitalism

  • Marie Kondo opens store selling crap you don’t need.

  • West Virginia prisoners now have “free” e-readers which charge them 5¢ per minute to read public domain books.

This should end well

  • Doctors say that based on reported numbers of detained children, flu deaths are occuring at 9x the expected rate; ask Trump admin to let them provide free flu shots.

Schadenfreude Saturday

  • Dallas “straight pride” parade attracts two attendees.
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