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November 30, 2019

The Weekly Whatever: Revenge of the Feral Hogs

Quote of the week

2 minutes of erection is enough to conclude the coitus and fecundate the female. Anything beyond that is perversion, degeneracy and socialism.

— Julia Song, Brazilian far-right commentator for Rebel Media and OANN.

Dystopia technologica

  • The Mootrix: Russian cows get VR headsets to increase milk production.

  • Amazon Ring planning neighborhood facial recognition watch lists.

  • Chinese company markets ethnicity-detecting surveillance cameras trained to spot Uyghur people, and the company’s cameras are already used by western governments.

Threat Level Orange

  • Thanks to Trump’s rollbacks on the Affordable Care Act, health insurance that doesn’t cover healthcare is getting more popular.

Well, fancy that!

  • Deutsche Bank exec who signed off on Trump’s loans killed himself.

We’re fucked

  • Leaf blowers are contributing to the ongoing loss of 75% of the insect population.

Sick, sad world

  • Feral hogs kill a woman outside her home in Texas.

  • “Frozen 2” screening leads to teenage machete brawl.

  • ICE creates fake university, lures in foreign students with valid visas, and arrests them for attending the fake university.

  • West Tennesee town cancels Christmas parade over “love everybody” float.

Not The Onion

  • Trump asks why the 100th anniversary of women’s suffrage wasn’t observed years ago.

  • New version of Uno has no red or blue cards so it won’t trigger a partisan political debate.

This should end well

  • WeWork founder helped Jared Kushner sketch out middle east peace plan.

  • Trump administration official who suggested nuking Afghanistan is now responsible for arms control issues.

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