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February 1, 2020

The Weekly Whatever: OK Bloomberg edition

Wait, what?

  • Great moments in product naming: Pro Lapse.

  • 8000 BC Zeta Reticulon spacecraft for sale.

  • There are too many impeachments these days, and we shouldn't remove a president for petty offenses, argues Ken Starr.

Dystopia technologica

  • Ring video doorbell also shares your info with Facebook and other advertising trackers.

  • Horror stories from inside Amazon's Mechanical Turk.

  • Avast antivirus tracked everything users did online, and sold the information to advertisers.

For science!

  • Four new species of walking sharks discovered.

  • Study finds that argumentative and egotistical men are particularly likely to drive Mercedes, Audi and BMW cars.

Threat Level Orange

  • Supreme Court okays Trump admin's plan to prevent immigration by poor people.

  • EPA making it easier for cities to keep dumping raw sewage into rivers.

  • New section of border wall falls over in high wind.

That's some mighty fine police work there, Lou

  • Maryland officer charged after shooting an unarmed man 7 times while the victim was handcuffed inside a police cruiser.

Get out your tiny violin

  • CEO of bankrupt opioid-peddling Purdue Pharma will only get a $1.3m bonus this year.

Sick, sad world

  • Getting muted in Runescape does not violate your civil rights.

  • Detroit thieves steal wheels from pre-production test vehicle.

  • Woman dies speed-eating cakes to mark Australia Day.

  • Japanese bakery makes corgi butts filled with custard.

  • Cat ignores being banned from supermarket.

  • Daycare worker fired for writing on baby.

  • Business is down at restaurant named Wuhan Noodle.

Very normal people

  • Mike Bloomberg releases very natural and spontaneous new ad, meets a dog and politely shakes it by the snout.

This should end well

  • Cats break into human body farm to feast on the dead.

  • ICE weakens safety standards for detention facilities.

Extreme awesome

  • Prankster gets Katie Hopkins to fly to Prague and accept the Campaign to Unify the Nation Trophy.

The Guillotine Marketing Board

  • Jeff Bezos throws a housewarming party at his new $23m Washington DC mansion, and invites Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Kellyanne Conway, James Mattis, Paul Ryan, Elaine Chao, Jamie Dimon, and Bill Gates.

  • Elon Musk talks about his grand plans for indentured servitude on Mars.

Late stage capitalism

  • Chipotle fined for 13,253 violations of child labor laws -- and that's just in Massachusetts.
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