The Weekly Whatever: Not written by AI
Quote of the week
In advance of the publication of this article, staff at MSN were told to expect a negative article in the Guardian about alleged racist bias in the artificial intelligence software that will soon take their jobs.
Because they are unable to stop the new robot editor selecting stories from external news sites such as the Guardian, the remaining human staff have been told to stay alert and delete a version of this article if the robot decides it is of interest and automatically publishes it on MSN.com. They have also been warned that even if they delete it, the robot editor may overrule them and attempt to publish it again.
Woodpecker engineering
- The James Webb Space Telescope is programmed in JavaScript.
Wait, what?
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China may send 100,000 live ducks to Pakistan.
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LA school police to return grenade launchers but keep armored vehicles.
Threat Level Orange
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NJ Trump supporters re-enact murder of George Floyd, telling protesters "keep walking, start running" and "If you don't comply, that's what happens".
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Customs and Border Protection allocated $112m for emergency food and medicine for migrants, so they use it to buy ATVs, dirt bikes and boats.
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Under Trump, the Justice Department has largely stopped investigating police departments for systemic abuses.
That's some mighty fine police work there, Lou
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Man tweets that he's the leader of Antifa. FBI contacts him to ask him to be an informant.
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Black man pulled over for driving 65mph in a 70mph zone.
Well, fancy that!
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Seattle Mayor announces 30 day ban on use of tear gas. Three days later, Seattle police tear gas protesters.
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"Miss Hitler" beauty pageant contestant jailed for being part of neo-Nazi terrorist group.
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Microsoft replaces news editors with AI. AI publishes story with photo of wrong mixed-race person.
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Republican in charge of election integrity in Indiana convicted of six felonies, including three counts of voter fraud.
We're fucked
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Siberia is 10C hotter than average, and we just had the hottest May ever.
Sick, sad world
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Editor of Philadelphia Inquirer resigns after running "Buildings Matter, Too" headline.
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New expansion for The Sims lets you kill and eat other sims.
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COVID-19 hits Marmite supplies.
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NY Department of Health suggests masked sex and glory holes to slow COVID-19 spread.
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Wizards of the Coast withdraws 7 racist 'Magic: The Gathering' cards.
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Grado announces new hemp headphones costing $420.
Late stage capitalism
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Another banking crisis is on the way, likely worse than the last one.
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GE refrigerators now have DRM.
The Guillotine Marketing Board
- Amazon made injured worker sit for 10 hours a day in break area in order to receive worker's compensation.
Actual good news
- Three new studies suggest that face masks are highly effective at stopping the spread of SARS-CoV-2.