The Weekly Whatever: Lysoltini over ice
Quote of the week
“I was thinking this morning, and this is just kind of a thought experiment because I was thinking about this — why don’t we just put everybody in a space outfit or something like that? No. Seriously, I mean—”
— Stephen Moore, Trump administration economic adviser.
Woodpecker engineering
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Demand for face masks crashes Internet-connected air conditioners. 
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Internet-connected baby crib hacked to play loud music and shake your baby. 
Wait, what?
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COVID-19 vaccine to be developed using the blood of Tom Hanks. 
Threat Level Orange
- New racist takes over as spokesman for Department of Health and Human Services.
Well, fancy that!
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Republican-led Senate intelligence committee unanimously endorses report concluding that yes, Russia conducted a campaign to interfere in the 2016 elections and get Trump elected. 
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Amazon said it doesn’t use merchant data to target its own competing products; that was a lie. 
Sick, sad world
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Woman shot in chest saved by breast implants. 
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As the pandemic continues, spare a thought for the poor bedbugs. 
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Gathering of the Juggalos canceled but Georgia Governor reopening businesses even faster than Trump thinks is safe. 
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Skateboard park filled with sand to encourage social distancing; dirt bikers show up. 
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“How Transforming My Apartment Into an Indoor Farm Turned Into a Very Bad Idea”. 
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Death Stranding player spends 15 hours trying to write his name in the snow. 
This should end well
- Pandemic tracking to be handled by Palantir.
Actual good news
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You’re not going back to normal open-plan office life for a long, long time. 
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Antibody tests suggest that millions of people may have had the SARS-CoV-2 coronavirus and not even realized. 
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NYC coronavirus stats finally improve. 
Going viral
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Chloroquine study cut short, as primary outcome is death. 
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Makers of Lysol say please don’t listen to Trump and inject yourself with bleach. 
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“Man Who Died Ingesting Fish Tank Cleaner Remembered as Intelligent, Levelheaded Engineer“ 
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Group of scientists and politicians proposes deliberately infecting people with coronavirus to test vaccines on them. 
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Pandemic task force was led by big pharma executive and labradoodle breeder. 
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Hydroxychloroquine increases deaths from COVID-19 in new study. 
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Sean Hannity associated with increased risk of coronavirus death. 
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Michigan senator wears confederate flag mask at state capitol. 
