The Weekly Whatever: Kabul Needs Pillows!
Graceful product plug of the week
“How would you like to be in Kabul today, as an American, and you can’t get to the airport? Where are you thinking your life is headed? If you’re one of those family members, I bet you’re not sleeping. I don’t even think My Pillow can do it. MyPillow.com. That’s where I go. I fall asleep faster, I stay asleep longer. These are going to be a lot of sleepless nights for so many of our fellow Americans. We’ve got to get them home.”
Afghan President flees with four cars full of public cash, has to leave some of it behind as it won’t fit in the helicopter.
Viral video of horrifying scenes from Kabul is actually footage from Texas.
Pandemic news
Florida starts storing COVID-19 sufferers in disused library buildings.
Doctors in Texas start discussing how they will need to triage patients based on vaccination status when resources run out, try to spin the policy when it becomes public.
Good news for GoFundMe, as private insurers will no longer waive COVID-19 treatment costs.
Can’t get a COVID-19 test? That’s because the manufacturer of most of the tests told workers to destroy stock earlier this year after sales dropped during the June/July lull in infections.
Second thoughts?
“What are my odds of getting COVID? They’re pretty low. What are my odds of dying from COVID if I do get it? Probably way less than one percent.” — Phil Valentine, December 17 2020.
“I certainly am not getting the vax now, I have full immunity.” — Phil Valentine, July 14 2021 after testing positive for COVID-19 and treating himself with vitamin D and horse de-wormer.
“I know if he were able to tell you this, he would tell you, ‘Go get vaccinated,’” — Phil Valentine’s brother after the radio host’s death from COVID.
What second thoughts?
Republican Representative from Maine attends antivax rally a week after his wife dies of COVID-19.
Science news
German scientists find 7,700 different chemicals in beer.
San Francisco airport is home to 1,300 snakes.
Scientists use stem cells to grow miniature brains with eyes.
Geneticists are ignoring warnings and continuing to use Excel, which is continuing to autocorrect their gene names.
Yet more research pointing at fructose as the cause of obesity.
Jobsworth news
UK antiterrorism law used to snoop on fly tippers and enforce parking restrictions.
FBI terrorist watchlist with 1.9 million records left unsecured online. Homeland Security are notified and spring into action, shutting down the database 3 weeks later.
Man calls 911 about his cousins’ family having fainted from carbon monoxide poisoning. Emergency crews in Texas go to the house and ring the doorbell, but for some reason nobody answers, so they leave.
Tiny violins
“I’m a landlord with 24 properties. We’re suffering during Biden’s eviction ban, too, and no one is helping.” No, really, it isn’t easy affording a private jet. Not even with $893,200 of government money.
August 11: Executive Producer of “Jeopardy!” chooses a new host for the show — himself! August 18: Racist, sexist and antisemitic comments from his podcast resurface, so he deletes the podcast. August 20: Mike Richards is leaving “Jeopardy!”
We’re all so tired
North Carolina is tired of being the state creepy old men travel to when they want to marry a 14-year-old child.
Roblox is tired of being the place to go to re-enact mass shootings in a video game.
OnlyFans is tired of being the web site for illegal child exploitation videos and bestiality.
OnlyFans isn’t a real job, says asshole who makes a living playing “Fortnite”.
Random
Nude man stabs second nude man on Seattle sidewalk.
Vegan parents upset at café using Peppa Pig cartoon to sell bacon sandwiches.
Check out the winners of Potato Photographer of the Year 2021.
Corporate news
Owner of socialist magazine fires most of its staff for trying to start a worker co-operative.
Dollar Stores are more expensive than Target.
Your thousand dollar Samsung smart phone will no longer play ads at you.
For some reason nobody wants to name their child Alexa any more.
Chinese company which runs TikTok plans to collect its users’ face and voice biometrics.
The researchers who first built a system like Apple’s planned photo monitoring software say that it’s dangerous and shouldn’t be deployed, as an international coalition calls on Apple to abandon the plans. Meanwhile, the algorithm has already been reverse engineered and researchers have already generated collisions and found easy ways to disguise photos so they won’t be caught.
And finally, some art
The story of William Basinski and The Disintegration Loops. Available on Bandcamp and highly recommended.