The Weekly Whatever: Justified Variant of Mu Mu
MAGAbook: During the election, misinformation on Facebook got six times the engagement of actual news.
This should end well: America set up a massive biometric database in Afghanistan to increase security, with everything from iris scans to fingerprints to the individual's favorite fruit and the identities of their family members. Now the database is in the hands of the Taliban.
Priorities: UK ex-marine rescued 200 dogs and cats from Afghanistan with the help of the British armed forces — but left his staff behind, even though they had the right to enter the UK.
Medical ethics: Arkansas inmates were given ivermectin without being told.
Ongoing crisis: Fully vaccinated man died after calls to 23 hospitals couldn't locate an ICU for him.
Florida: Nurse accused school board of being "demonic entities" for supporting a mask mandate.
The power of belief: QAnon supporter claimed COVID-19 is a hoax even as his lungs collapsed.
Horse's ass treated for worms: Joe Rogan caught COVID-19, said he was taking ivermectin for it.
Also knows about horse dewormer: Kid Rock, who attended the Sturgis motorcycle and COVID rally, canceled performances because half his band had developed COVID.
Duck noises: Suspended doctor Joseph Chikelue Obi is copyright trolling again.
Shadow court: The Supreme Court is now issuing most of its opinions secretly, without hearings.
Symbolism: Texas Republicans passed 666 new laws.
Smells like Musk: Greg Abbott claims Elon Musk as a fan, saying "Elon consistently tells me that he likes the social policies in the state of Texas." Musk, who donated $10,000 to Greg Abbott after Abbott tried to shut down most of the abortion clinics in Texas, issues vaguely worded non-denial claiming he would prefer to stay out of politics.
Birb news: Wild cockatoos make cutlery to help them pry open their favorite fruits.
Dragonballs Z: A Welsh petition demands that the country's dragon symbol be depicted with a penis.
Never forget: A man was trampled to death while taking a wild elephant selfie.
Child abuse: Kids in China are now restricted to 3 hours of online video games per week.
Abuse by child: A judge ruled that a 13-year-old girl's Snapchat drinking binges were not protected speech.
Act of God: A hurricane did what Rosco P. Coltrane never managed to do.