May 17, 2020

The Weekly Whatever: If you don't look for it, it doesn't exist

Quote of the week

When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn't do any testing we would have very few cases.

-- Donald Trump

Wait, what?

• Dorset holds online knob-eating contest.

That's some mighty fine police work there, Lou

• Louisville police execute a "no knock" warrant to arrest someone already in custody, raid the wrong house, and fatally shoot one of the occupants eight times in her sleep.

Well, fancy that!

• UN calls for global cease fire during pandemic. Every country agrees except one...

• James Damore quietly settles his lawsuit against Google alleging discrimination against conservative white men.

• NY barber who defied stay-at-home order tests positive for coronavirus.

We're fucked

• Parts of the world are already too hot for human habitation thanks to global warming.

Sick, sad world

• Hong Kong store introduces tear gas flavored ice cream.

• Facebook agrees to compensate moderators for the trauma they suffer.

• Bizarre new species of parasitic fungus discovered on Twitter.

Not The Onion

• Texas governor Greg Abbott is upset that someone is jailed for violating his executive order, issues another order retroactively eliminating jail time for violating the first order.

Late stage capitalism

• Wink smart home hub features no monthly fees or subscriptions! Actually, on second thoughts, pay up or we'll disable your smart home devices.

Going viral

• A single nightclub customer is linked to 85 new cases of coronavirus in South Korea.