The Weekly Whatever: I guess we forgot after all
Quote of the week
“Kurds are great people, great fighters, I like them a lot. We are trying to help them a lot. Don’t forget that’s their territory. They fought with us, they died with us, we lost tens of thousands of Kurds fighting ISIS. They’re great people and we have not forgotten.”
— Donald Trump, a year ago.
Wait, what?
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Guinea pig ice cream for sale in Ecuador. It’s not ice cream for guinea pigs. 
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Zombie Angeline Jolie arrested for blasphemy. 
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Suspected murderer’s ankle monitor removed after he fails to pay the monthly service fee. 
Threat Level Orange
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Trump regime to deny entry to immigrants who lack health insurance, including spouses of US citizens. 
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Giuliani’s henchmen had companies called Fraud Guarantee and Mafia Rave. 
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Trump administration privatizing migrant child detention centers. 
Well, fancy that!
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Key witness in Amber Guyger murder trial is murdered by unknown assailants in a four-door sedan, who shoot him in the mouth. 
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US’s largest “Christian” charity reportedly gave over $56m to hate groups. 
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That report about how it’s healthy to eat lots of meat? The same scientist was an author of a similar study about how it’s healthy to eat lots of sugar, and was paid by a food industry trade group. 
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NYT’s resident bedbug Bret Stephens backs out of a public debate. 
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Google’s still making large contributions to climate change deniers. 
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43 more women come forward to describe assault and harassment by Trump. 
We’re fucked
- September was the hottest ever recorded.
Sick, sad world
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Man flies to Florida to surprise his father-in-law, who shoots and kills him. 
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Eva Braun’s panties sell for £3,700 at auction. 
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Conservative government suggests that no-deal Brexit could cause rise in dogging. 
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Famous last words: “It’s not loaded, see?” 
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Drexel University professor blows nearly $200,000 of federal research dollars at a strip club. 
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Sesame Street introduces new Muppet with opioid addicted parent. 
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Amazon workers may be watching your home security camera recordings. 
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NJ man asks farmers if he can date their farm animals, spikes their tires when turned down. 
Not The Onion
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Utah woman prosecuted for letting her stepchildren see her topless in her own home. 
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Man stops fleeing suspect by holding him at finger-gun-point. 
The Guillotine Marketing Board
- The 400 richest people pay less tax than you.
Schadenfreude Friday
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Anti-Muslim hate group ACT For America learns that it is too extreme to be allowed to host an event at Mar-a-Lago. 
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After smearing a cave diver who helped save a dozen kids as a “child rapist”, Elon Musk hired a convicted repeat fraudster to dig up dirt on the guy, and e-mailed the results to Buzzfeed – assuming his e-mail wouldn’t be published because he started the it with the words “off the record”. That’s not how it works… 
Actual good news
- Paralyzed man walks in mind-reading exoskeleton.
