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May 10, 2020

The Weekly Whatever: Great Success

Quote of the week

That’s one of the reasons we’re successful, if you call losing 80 or 90 thousand people successful.

– Donald Trump.

Threat Level Orange

  • Republican Trump ally put in charge of postal service.

Well, fancy that!

  • Three Russian doctors critical of the country’s COVID-19 response mysteriously fall out of windows.

  • African-American Illinois state rep stopped by police and accused of theft after wearing face mask while shopping.

Extreme awesome

  • Naked Australian man rescues kitten from python.

Sick, sad world

  • 5 year old pulled over on his way to try to buy a Lamborghini.

  • Elon Musk and Grimes name their new child X Æ A-12.

  • Woman in SC sees alligator, pets it, is dragged into the water saying “I guess I won’t do this again”.

Late stage capitalism

  • Frontier Airlines will charge $89 if you want to practice social distancing.

Going viral

  • Trump wanders a factory with no mask on while “Live and Let Die” plays.

  • Native American health center asks federal government for COVID-19 supplies, receives body bags.

  • Trump administration ditches CDC’s guide for how to reopen the country safely.

  • White House uses Excel curve fitting to predict zero coronavirus deaths by mid-May.

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