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September 26, 2021

The Weekly Whatever: Fondleslab 13 release week

Worst site on the Internet

  • Neo-Nazis are still organizing and fundraising on Facebook.

  • Apple threatened to ban Instagram from the app store because of its use in human trafficking.

  • Zuckerberg promised not to fact-check political claims on Facebook, in return for the Trump administration not regulating the platform.

Stupidity pandemic

  • Vigilante antivaxxers are now trying to convince people with COVID-19 to leave the ICU, and instead gargle with iodine and inhale hydrogen peroxide.

  • Oregon doctor who claimed masks cause CO₂ poisoning has his license revoked; Ohio antivax doctor who claimed the COVID-19 vaccine could make people magnetic somehow got her license renewed.

  • Michael Flynn claims the deep state is going to spike people's salad dressing with COVID-19 vaccine, but fails to explain how Trump supporters might get exposed to salad dressing.

  • Texas restaurant kicks out family for wearing masks. Check their Yelp page for reviews.

  • A detailed look at the anonymous sorta-scientific study that convinced people to try using ivermectin to treat COVID-19.

  • Montana hospital is now running out of hallways to keep patients in while they wait for an ICU bed.

  • The seven stages of severe COVID-19, to share with any antivaxxers you know.

Crime wave

  • Alleged members of New Zealand gang arrested for smuggling KFC.

  • Free car comes with free bonus dead body in trunk.

  • Company apologizes for sending clowns to hang around outside primary schools.

Environmental news

  • The nuts in California are using up all the water.

  • New feed additive cuts cow farts by 55%.

  • And that's why they're called meal worms.

  • Alabama's newest nuclear power plant officially abandoned after 47 years of attempting to construct it.

  • Babies' poop is full of microplastics, maybe we can add a bit more and make it non-stick?

  • We need a 45% cut in CO₂ emissions by 2030 to avoid exceeding a 1.5°C rise in global temperature. What we're actually going to do is raise CO₂ emissions by 16%.

I've seen that movie

  • Woman brought back to life after being dead for 45 minutes.

  • A dazzle of zebras is still on the loose in Washington DC, Army of the 12 Monkeys unavailable for comment.

Everything else

  • In 1998, two men got tattoos in order to win free tacos for life. Let's hear how that worked out for them.

  • Engineers work out how to 3D print with chicken and cook it with lasers. Next step: mount the lasers on sharks.

  • North Korea celebrates its anniversary with a midnight hazmat-suit parade.

  • For decades, US senators and members of congress have managed to outperform the S&P500, a suspicious feat no portfolio manager can achieve. Attempts to stop congress from insider trading have not been a complete success. So now, individual investors on TikTok are using congressional disclosures as a guide to what to invest in. Coming soon, I hope: A Congress Insider Trades Index Fund. In the mean time, there's a database available for your day-trading pleasure...

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