The Weekly Whatever: Fondleslab 13 release week
Worst site on the Internet
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Neo-Nazis are still organizing and fundraising on Facebook. 
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Apple threatened to ban Instagram from the app store because of its use in human trafficking. 
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Zuckerberg promised not to fact-check political claims on Facebook, in return for the Trump administration not regulating the platform. 
Stupidity pandemic
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Vigilante antivaxxers are now trying to convince people with COVID-19 to leave the ICU, and instead gargle with iodine and inhale hydrogen peroxide. 
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Oregon doctor who claimed masks cause CO₂ poisoning has his license revoked; Ohio antivax doctor who claimed the COVID-19 vaccine could make people magnetic somehow got her license renewed. 
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Michael Flynn claims the deep state is going to spike people's salad dressing with COVID-19 vaccine, but fails to explain how Trump supporters might get exposed to salad dressing. 
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Texas restaurant kicks out family for wearing masks. Check their Yelp page for reviews. 
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A detailed look at the anonymous sorta-scientific study that convinced people to try using ivermectin to treat COVID-19. 
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Montana hospital is now running out of hallways to keep patients in while they wait for an ICU bed. 
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The seven stages of severe COVID-19, to share with any antivaxxers you know. 
Crime wave
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Alleged members of New Zealand gang arrested for smuggling KFC. 
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Free car comes with free bonus dead body in trunk. 
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Company apologizes for sending clowns to hang around outside primary schools. 
Environmental news
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The nuts in California are using up all the water. 
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New feed additive cuts cow farts by 55%. 
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Alabama's newest nuclear power plant officially abandoned after 47 years of attempting to construct it. 
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Babies' poop is full of microplastics, maybe we can add a bit more and make it non-stick? 
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We need a 45% cut in CO₂ emissions by 2030 to avoid exceeding a 1.5°C rise in global temperature. What we're actually going to do is raise CO₂ emissions by 16%. 
I've seen that movie
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Woman brought back to life after being dead for 45 minutes. 
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A dazzle of zebras is still on the loose in Washington DC, Army of the 12 Monkeys unavailable for comment. 
Everything else
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In 1998, two men got tattoos in order to win free tacos for life. Let's hear how that worked out for them. 
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Engineers work out how to 3D print with chicken and cook it with lasers. Next step: mount the lasers on sharks. 
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North Korea celebrates its anniversary with a midnight hazmat-suit parade. 
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For decades, US senators and members of congress have managed to outperform the S&P500, a suspicious feat no portfolio manager can achieve. Attempts to stop congress from insider trading have not been a complete success. So now, individual investors on TikTok are using congressional disclosures as a guide to what to invest in. Coming soon, I hope: A Congress Insider Trades Index Fund. In the mean time, there's a database available for your day-trading pleasure... 
