The Weekly Whatever: Coming soon to Netflix: Unmaking A Murderer
Wildlife news
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Grub’s up! London McDonalds closes after maggots fall through the ceiling.
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The Queen has ‘entered a new phase’, is probably busy pumping out larvae until spring.
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Roadrunner avoids coyote by hitching a lift in a moving van.
Should I not have done that?
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Woman goes to Rent-A-Hitman web site to hire someone to kill her husband, apparently not realizing it’s just a cybersecurity test site.
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Man traveling through Minneapolis airport threatens to kill a TSA agent, strips naked and masturbates, saying he doesn’t have to stop because “It’s a free country”. He discovers that it’s not quite that free.
Business news
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Elizabeth Holmes said a Theranos device could perform over 1,000 tests. And by over 1,000, she meant 12.
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Need another reason to dislike Amazon? They’ve killed over three dozen consumer privacy protection bills across 25 states.
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…also, Amazon-owned Goodreads has a bit of a Nazi problem and doesn’t seem to be tackling it.
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Organized shoplifting rings are putting Walgreens out of business? Not so fast.
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Spare a thought for the billionaires, there’s a private jet shortage.
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Facebook and Google aren’t just spreading and prioritizing misinformation — they’re also funding it.
Extremely unsurprising news
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Texas power grid hasn’t been fixed and is liable to collapse again if there’s another harsh winter.
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About 90% of the posts Facebook takes down for being “hate speech” are denigrating white people or men.
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Florida prison guards feel safe to openly boast of being white supremacists even though it’s not officially a job qualification.
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Nevada QAnon cultist and Trump supporter who said he had evidence of voter fraud admits that yes, he was the one who committed it.
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Some 43% of white Harvard students didn’t make it there on merit.
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Nazis modeled their elite schools on British private schools like Eton and Harrow.
This is fine
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Lab worker at vaccine research facility cleans out freezer, finds vials labeled “Smallpox”. Don’t worry, though, the CDC assures everyone they contained a virus used to produce the smallpox vaccine, not smallpox itself.
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Fancy leather car seats are leading to the deforestation of the Amazon.
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Hiker finds stream in Hawaii that reeks of beer. It turns out to be 1.2% ABV.
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Biden administration marks the end of COP26 with one of the biggest sales of oil and gas extraction leases in US history.
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Thanks to climate change, a town in North Carolina is now besieged by hungry armadillos.
Content recommendations (no really)
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Check out this year’s winners of the Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards.
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Why NFTs are nihilistic garbage. Download some for free at The NFT Bay if you still think you want one.