The Weekly Whatever: Blockchain and other problems
Arrangements
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Australian police claim a man used a circular saw to cut off another man's leg in a public park, as part of an "arrangement". 
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Prince Andrew is reported to have reached a settlement with Virginia Giuffre, agreeing that he will no longer repeat the claim that he didn't rape her. 
Technology
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Half a million Tesla cars recalled to fix fart horn feature. 
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When Elon Musk's Neuralink was tested on monkeys, 7 out of 23 survived; one was documented as having missing fingers and toes "possibly from self-mutilation or some other unspecified trauma". 
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People can't tell neural-net-generated faces from real human faces — in fact, they find the computer-generated faces more trustworthy. 
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Patients' implanted bionic eyes power down after company withdraws support. 
Weaponization
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Idaho Potato Commission made Frites by Idaho, a limited edition fragrance to make you smell like French fries. 
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New Zealand battles "Freedom" convoy, weaponizes Barry Manilow. 
Media
- New Lord of the Rings series features dark-skinned elves, dwarves and hobbits; racists express anger at the lack of realism.
Climate
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NASA, NOAA and other agencies conclude that the sea level will rise up to a foot by 2050. 
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The western US is experiencing the worst drought in 1,200 years. 
Questionable judgement
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Catholic Pastor resigns after discovering he has been performing invalid baptisms for 20 years. 
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Louisiana school teacher laced cupcakes with her ex-husband's semen and then fed them to school children. 
Crapto
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Bitcoin miners revive a dying coal power plant and increase CO₂ emissions by over 5000%. 
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Gemini "crypto IRA" retirement accounts drained. 
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Hackers steal NFTs theoretically worth $1.7m from OpenSea customers. 
Science
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Scientists demonstrate that fish are self-aware. 
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New study of ivermectin finds that it's totally useless for treating COVID, but does lead to exciting side effects. 
Business
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REI calls itself a co-op, but that doesn't mean it can't do a bit of union busting. 
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Potential contamination warnings issued after Family Dollar warehouse found to contain 1,100 dead rats. 
Elections
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Republican candidate for Texas Railroad Commission (which has nothing to do with trains) strips off and sits astride an oil pump jack for a campaign video. 
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Republican candidate for Texas House District 19 is indicted for using excessive force while working as a police officer. So are 18 other Austin police officers. 
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Texas police "union" demands that further indictments of officers wait until after the elections, so as not to influence voters towards defunding the police. 
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Dan Patrick sends mail-in ballot application forms to Texas Republicans, but instructs them to mail them to the wrong address, delaying issuing of ballots. 
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Republican candidate for Georgia Kandiss Taylor tours the state with her new campaign slogan: "Jesus Guns Babies" 
