The Weekly Whatever: Antarctic pool party
Quote of the week
So I quit then. So I’m safe, folks. I got out of it long before I hit 44. It’s like I never smoked, because of this research today. Yeah, I smoke cigars, but I don’t inhale the cigars.
— Rush Limbaugh in 2013, explaining why he won’t get lung cancer.
Woodpecker engineering
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Man drags 99 mobile phones around in a cart to generate traffic jams on Google Maps.
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Google may have shared some of your private videos with strangers.
Dystopia technologica
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Man buys Tesla at auction; Tesla remotely disables autopilot saying he didn’t pay for it.
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Wacom tablets tracked every application you opened.
Threat Level Orange
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Census bureau using other government databases to build a list of non-citizens.
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US farm bankruptcies hit an 8 year high.
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Customs and Border Protection agents granted anonymity from FOIA requests.
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Trump admin drafts executive order prohibiting modern architecture for government buildings.
We’re fucked
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The complex chaotic climate models scientists use to predict global warming have suddenly started predicting up to 5.56 degrees of warming by 2100, and nobody is quite sure why.
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Antarctica registers its hottest ever temperature – a balmy 18.3⁰C.
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Bumblebee population decline is consistent with mass extinction.
Sick, sad world
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Pizza shop takes down “Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap” ad after outrage.
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Montana Republican claims the Constitution says it’s OK to shoot socialists.
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Rush Limbaugh awarded Medal of Freedom.
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Russian Orthodox church thinks maybe priests should stop blessing nuclear weapons.
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Hot Wheels Camaro is worth $100,000.
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Finally, a digital audio sequencer in Excel.
Not The Onion
- CPAC to feature play based on text messages between Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, titled “FBI Lovebirds: UnderCovers”.
Late stage capitalism
- People are spending hundreds of dollars on miniature skateboards for their fingers.
The Guillotine Marketing Board
- Brexit Party multimillionaire teaches the homeless how to fashion a sleeping spot out of two wheelie bins.
Schadenfreude Saturday
- Neo-Nazi web site can’t afford to keep paying staff.