The Weekly Whatever: Actual good news edition
Woodpecker engineering
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Small strip of black tape convinces Tesla “autopilot” to accelerate to 85 MPH.
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Internet connected pet feeder fails, leaving animals hungry.
Dystopia technologica
- Clearview facial recognition company that scraped social networks without permission now says someone got unauthorized access to their entire client database. Organizations using the software to track you include Best Buy, Macy’s, and Walmart.
For science!
- Birds can learn to make better food decisions by watching other birds on TV.
Threat Level Orange
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Justice Department sets up new Denaturalization Unit to deport citizens.
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Border Patrol invites the press to watch them blow up a national monument on Native American land.
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ICE has been running facial recognition searches on millions of drivers without court approval.
That’s some mighty fine police work there, Lou
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Cops seize camera from protester while they concoct an excuse to arrest him. Unfortunately they leave the camera running the whole time.
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Police deliberately spread coronavirus misinformation as a joke.
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NSA surveillance from 2015 to 2019 cost $100m, but only produced two actionable leads and a single investigation.
We’re fucked
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The Antarctic Thwaites glacier has warm water running under it in all directions. If it collapses, it alone could raise sea levels by 2’ this century.
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January was the hottest on record.
Get out your tiny violin
- Dylann Roof complains that he has been “verbally harassed and abused without cause”.
Sick, sad world
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Man dies in homemade steam-powered rocket trying to prove the Earth is flat.
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Cookie Monster found overdosing on heroin.
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COVID-19 merch is here.
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Spanish carnival parade features crematoria float with people dressed as Nazis dancing to disco music.
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Woman in traffic stop gives fake name that also has a warrant against it.
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Disney Jungle Cruise boat sinks.
Late stage capitalism
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Startup wants to be the “AirBnB for farmland”, inserting itself as an intermediary between farmers and landowners.
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Robots aren’t taking our jobs; they’re becoming our bosses.
What year is this?
- Belgian carnival to go ahead despite featuring vitriolic racism and antisemitism.
This should end well
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Supreme Court rules Border Patrol can’t be sued for shooting Mexican children even if the children are in Mexico at the time.
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Bloomberg hires the vice-chair superdelegates of the Texas and California Democratic Parties.
Extreme awesome
- In 2015, the boss of a card payments company took a $1m pay cut so he could provide all employees with a minimum salary of $70,000 a year. The company has thrived.
Actual good news
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Jif releases limited edition GIF peanut butter to encourage people to pronounce GIF correctly (and not like Jif).
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New Etch-a-Sketch finally lets you draw curves.
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Marines finally order that all Confederate symbols be removed.