Whatever: The second time as farce
So once again the buttocks of fascism descend, and press down upon the chocolate cake of democracy with a loud Trump. Like a kidney stone, this too shall...
Whatever: The dumpster fire at the end of the tunnel
Quote of the week "AI-Weekly, the premier, weekly, human-curated news aggregation service, today announced a significant milestone, surpassing 30,000 weekly...
Whatever: The rules were that you guys weren't going to fact-check me
Rage against the machine learning OpenAI currently spends $2.35 to make $1, but they'll make it up on volume. Google AI brings you the poop fart podcast. AIs...
Whatever: America suddenly becomes aware of the existence of Minnesota
Crapto The scammers pushing cryptocurrencies have found someone they can relate to, and they're spending record amounts to try and get him elected. He's...
Whatever: Ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about tangerines
Food and drink Brominated vegetable oil was discovered to be unsafe in 1970, but authorized for continued use in foods on an "interim basis". The interim is...
Whatever: The Dick Bong News You Need
Update In 2020, Microsoft pledged to slash its greenhouse gas emissions. Let's see how that's going. AI A man thought that perhaps the person claiming to be...
Whatever: Have you tried turning your car off and on again?
Well, fancy that! Two Trump Media investors plead guilty to insider trading. Trump Media's auditor was charged with massive fraud by the SEC. The CEO of...
Whatever: 737 to the Max
Quote of the week In summary, the management of bilateral iatrogenic I'm very sorry, but I don't have access to real-time information or patient-specific...
Whatever: Pre-election special
Business news Google engages in union-busting. UK undertakers send Valentine's cards to care home residents. Most UK companies that took part in a 4 day week...
Whatever: Does the orange one dance with the walrus?
Crapto Over 2% of the US's electricity generating capacity is being wasted on Bitcoin. Many companies that were wasting energy on crapto are now wasting it...
Whatever: I cannot fulfill this request it violates OpenAI use policy
Politics Billionaires asked the Supreme Court to pre-emptively declare wealth taxes illegal. A candidate in the Presidential race in Taiwan gave out laundry...
Whatever: It's almost over
Fecal matters A Chinese chess champion was stripped of his title for defecating in a hotel bathtub, and investigated for possibly cheating at the game using...
Whatever: Copout28 Special
What could possibly go wrong? In 2021 Stanford student King Vanga drove his car at high speed into the back of another car, killing the occupants. He's now...
The Whatever: Maintenant dans L'Étoile du Nord
Business At last Pizza Hut offers snake pizza. Why so many boarded-up empty stores? Because banks make more money if they force leaseholders to pay rent on...
The Whatever: Regularly irregular schedule
Technology Amazon has been promoting Alexa as a reliable source of election news. Unfortunately Alexa has been claiming that the 2020 election was stolen. If...
The Whatever: Texodus edition
Quote of the week Australian multi-millionaire property developer Tim Gurner (net worth AU$584 million): I think the problem that we’ve had is that people...
…Whatever: Peacock vasectomies
That expensive real estate isn't going to occupy itself 80% of bosses now say they regret their earlier return-to-office plans. However, Zoom decides this is...
The Weekly(?) Whatever: Unsuitable for gorillas
Elon "Free speech absolutist" threatens to sue the Center for Countering Digital Hate for hurting his company's reputation with their words. Tesla's been...
The Weekly Whatever: Dead cat bounce
Quiz Meta's Horizon Worlds metaverse had a feature that would reward users for making content, with the company taking a cut. Guess how much revenue it...
The Weekly Whatever: Swipe credit card to read more Tweets
AI Google search results are now full of AI-generated junk websites full of ads. Finally, a good use for AI: wasting spam callers' time. You want to rent an...
The Weekly Whatever: We all live in a FAFO submarine
Brought to you by WiWi pajamas. Don't forget WiWi before bed. Titanica Too soon for jokes about the Titan? Look at how newspapers of the time snarked about...
The Weekly Whatever: It's a banger
$8chan Twitter stops paying its AWS and Google Cloud bills. Twitter gets evicted from its Boulder offices. Its expensive new unused Boulder offices. As most...
The Weekly Whatever: Kenny's Logins
Updates US National Eating Disorder Association, which replaced its crisis helpline staff with a chatbot after they unionized, discovers that the chatbot has...
The Weekly Whatever: The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte
Technology Adobe tells users they’re no longer allowed to use old versions of Photoshop or Lightroom. Free TV shows ads even when you’re not using it. It...
The Weekly Whatever: Happy Mothra's Day
Law and order UK police arrest anti-monarchist demonstrators. Man in mental health crisis is shot at 47 times by police. Somehow he survives, so now there’s...
The Weekly Whatever: Peeshow!
This issue is brought to you by Peeshow. Need to get your daughter a graduation gift? Think Peeshow! Environment Only 5% of plastics get recycled, and that...
The Weekly Whatever: rapid unscheduled disassembly
Tucker is gone but the problem continues If you subscribe to cable or satellite TV, you’re subsidizing Fox News. But the contracts between Fox and the cable...
The Weekly Whatever:
Substack decides to become the new Nazi bar. (Full interview) Parler shuts down, saying that there's just no viable business being a right wing version of...
The Weekly Whatever: Platform hamster gaskets
Taking a photo with a Samsung smartphone? That’s no moon. Court rules that Elon musk unlawfully threatened Tesla employees with the loss of stock options if...
The Weekly Whatever: Unconventional and Hilarious Headlines
(Subject line by ChatGPT.) Millions of dollars stolen from cryptocurrency ATMs that allow uploading of videos for some unknown reason. Users who scanned...
The Weekly Whatever: "Year of Efficiency"
Politics October surprise confirmed again: the Reagan campaign conspired with Iranian terrorists to sabotage Carter’s re-election. Far-right software...
The Weekly Whatever: Experimental past tense version
Quotes of the week “We’re all pretending we’ve got a lot to show for it, because admitting what a disaster it’s been is too tough to digest. But come on....
The Weekly Whatever: Pope Peterson I
Wildlife Two men shoot and kill a bald eagle, thinking it’s a vulture and planning to cook and eat it. American woman takes her pet cow for a walk in Red...
The Weekly Whatever: [Screaming intensifies]
COVID-19 After 3 years, I slipped up or was unlucky and got COVID. No news story here, just an announcement. I’m doing OK, but definitely wouldn’t recommend...
The Weekly Whatever: Welcome to The Jungle, kids
$8chan With all the experienced ops engineers laid off, Twitter is having trouble deploying code updates. Elon calls in an engineering team to explain...
The Weekly Whatever: Happy Brexit Day!
Advanced legal strategies Ontario says it doesn’t have to pay the compensation it owes for violating treaties with First Nations, because it already spent...
The Weekly Whatever: "Hi, everybody!" "Hi, Doctor ChatGPT!"
Quote of the week I am reminded in moments like this, of something Martin Luther King said, that “the ultimate measure of a [leader] is not where [they]...
The Weekly Whatever: Worst Ever Edition (So Far)
Law and order Kentucky Republicans hold an event at a restaurant to honor one of the cops involved in the no-knock raid that killed Breonna Taylor. Retired...
The Weekly Whatever: Definitely a friend of Frank, honest!
Business Farmers win the right to repair their tractors. For every $1 of new global wealth earned by a person in the bottom 90% in the past two years, each...
The Weekly Whatever: 411 410
$8chan Twitter makes further cuts to the team responsible for dealing with hate speech and harassment. Technology AT&T will no longer offer human telephone...
The Weekly Whatever: Ex Benedict
Business People who live in poor or diverse parts of US cities get slower and more expensive Internet service. Need to talk to the manager? Karens For Hire...
The Weekly Whatever: a mere 8 by 8 grid
Quotes of the week Elon Musk explaining why he doesn’t play chess any more: “I did as a child, but found it to be too simple to be useful in real life: a...
The Weekly Whatever: N628TS
Business news Hyundai-Kia has been benefitting from child workers in Alabama. Multiple online telehealth startups have been sending information about...
The Weekly Whatever: Guaranteed World Cup Free
$8chan Elon Musk turns up expecting to be adored by Dave Chapelle’s fans, but gets roundly booed instead. Three members of Twitter’s Trust and Safety Council...
The Weekly Whatever: I'm a toilet-half-full kind of person
Business European Union spends half a million dollars throwing a virtual party in Zuckerberg's metaverse. Six people show up. Amazon Alexa is a colossal...
The Weekly Whatever: Space Karen vs the world
Crapto Asshole who burned a Frida Kahlo drawing to increase the value of his 10,000 NFTs only sold four of them, for a total of $11,200. In the wake of the...
The Weekly Whatever: Blue bird of crappiness
Very normal people Man who lived in Paris' Charles-de-Gaulle airport for 20 years dies, appropriately enough, in the terminal. Homeless man roams Austin TX...
The Weekly Whatever: I got ya bird right here
Crapto Cryptocurrency platform that offered 43% returns on investment suddenly offers 0% chance of withdrawing your money. First Bitcoin ETF has burned...
The Weekly Whatever: Quick hits
Florida attorney who opposed the state’s motorcycle helmet law dies in a motorcycle crash, from head trauma, while not wearing a helmet. Worryingly, a friend...
The Weekly Whatever: All hail the lettuce!
UK news Prime Minister Liz Truss fought a lettuce, and the lettuce won. Sadly, American democracy is way more dysfunctional. Crapto Bitcoin's price drop and...