take me under the brightest sun
Right now, I could be out in the Music Meadow listening to live music while doing some reading. I could be away from all facets of modern-day society, with the gentle, calming presence of no internet or cell service for a few days.
It would’ve allowed me to de-stress and take a break from this hectic news cycle that has drained me over the last few months.
It would’ve given me the chance to feel something other than existential dread and the constant chaos of the world, while feeling freer than I’ve felt in a while.
Instead, I am sitting on my living room sofa working. I am not camping in a tent, slinging beer for my favorite independent music radio station, soaking up the sun in the Music Meadow or enjoying life away from a screen.
This would’ve been my fifth Red Wing Roots festival experience. A milestone! It’s become such a standard part of my summers that there’s a huge void in my heart right now as I type this out. There’s just something about a summer music festival that brings joy to my heart.
Thanks to the ongoing pandemic, I haven’t seen live music in person since February. Festivals have been cancelled left and right. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to see live music in person for the rest of this year.
And that sucks a whole lot.
Getting to experience the joys of live music in person has been something that has helped my mental health greatly over the years. I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without seeing a concert surrounded by other people brought together by the music.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, but I also feel selfish for wanting to go out and experience life around others in large groups because it’s so dangerous right now. (I’m not actually doing that.)
Life in isolation is hard, especially when you’re not used to being in isolation. It’s hard when you have to rethink every single trip out in public when you used to be able to go out on a whim because you’re worried you might end up catching the virus from a simple, routine trip running errands, or you could have the virus and not even know it, unsuspectingly spreading it to others in your path.
It’s not easy to deal with the new restrictions in this “new normal” for society, especially when it comes to live music. That’s what hurts the most.
When the pandemic first started and the nation started shutting down, I said “I can’t wait for July. Right now being surrounded by other people with no cell service or internet sounds like a dream!” And now? Well, it is very much a dream.
Sure, many artists (and festivals!) are starting to livestream shows, which rocks…but it’s not the same!
Luckily, I won’t be without live music this weekend, because I’ll be watching a drive-in concert tomorrow night when Andrew McMahon takes to a stage in California to perform “Everything In Transit” live in celebration of its 15th year. It’s not a format I’m super familiar with, and it sucks I’ll be on the other side of the country and not in a car at the drive-in, but it’ll be fun.
The only downside? It just takes away from the sense of being present in the moment and leaves me surrounded by many distractions that could take my mind off the enjoyment of a concert.
I can only hope that life begins to return to normal at some point in 2021. I have my doubts, but I’m still hopeful. Of course, I was hopeful in March that Red Wing wouldn’t be cancelled, even though I knew it probably would be.
Moving forward in society as a pandemic rages on is…terrifying. Bleak. Grim. The feelings I don’t want to feel for months on end.
So this weekend, instead of getting my fix of Goatacado grain bowls or Sexi Mexi burritos, I’m at home eating Taco Bell. Instead of sitting outside listening to some great music, I’m listening to my Spotify library on full blast in my living room.
It’s not the same, but it’s better than nothing.
Until then, there’s always next year to look forward to.
When the day is done and another night has come
I’ll rest my weary bones and pray the bird I love hasn’t flown away
And I will call again up to my kindest friend
The ground below will be set free and with my love I’ll be
SIDE NOTE: You know what is selfish? Not wearing a mask in public. I can’t believe there are people in this country who have the audacity not to wear one because they don’t want to be told what to do. It’s uncomfortable in the summer, I get that. It’s stuffy and sometimes hard to breathe in. I get that too.
But I’d rather be uncomfortable than be dead. I’d rather be uncomfortable than having to deal with family members on life support in the hospital, or having to plan funerals for loved ones.
I’d rather be uncomfortable and protected than comfortable and unprotected. It’s not selfish to want to help others stay healthy, but it’s incredibly selfish and foolish to think you’re invincible to a virus that nobody really knows anything about and has the potential to kill.