You ever start writing a thing in your head and feel like it’s almost done? But then you sit down to type your words out and you have trouble thinking of the first sentence?

Anyway.

This month I’ve been reading “We Are Meant to Rise” - and it got me thinking about identity vs belief vs the self.

In particular, how we cling to our beliefs because they become part of our identities. When those beliefs are challenged we feel threatened and reflexively defensive.

I certainly was. At one point in my life, you could have described me as a swing voter. Not conservative or liberal. Maybe a sprinkle of libertarian. It’s hard to remember that person. I don’t know exactly when they disappeared. Certainly past political me was gone by the time the votes were counted in 2016.

I want to send a thank you and an apology out to every kind soul who tried to correct me in the years before then.

My values haven’t changed much but my beliefs have. I’ve always cared about fairness. Now I understand unearned privilege, how whiteness has made parts of my life easier. I’ve always cared about family. Now I’ve extended that caring to family and community. I’ve always wanted to help people get along. Now I understand the tolerance paradox. That tolerating everything excludes some. Now I understand the Nazi bar problem.

MILCK has a brilliant line in her song “Freedom Hymn”: “Freedom comes to thosе who dare to hold each other's pain.”

I’ve learned to hold someone else’s pain and contemplate my own unwitting role in that pain. That awareness has led me to change a lot of my beliefs. My identity. And I am still myself.

Still writing. Always writing and trying to find my way to a truth I can share with other people. That’s really what “Blessed by the Algorithm” is - I’m trying to illuminate how algorithms have changed our lives. Feels like almost overnight. Speaking of, the ultra-talented Chris AKA Gargoyle Pastures has sent me the first couple pieces I commissioned for the book. I am so grateful for the way these illustrations are bringing the book to life.

I'll leave you with these quotes from "We are meant to rise".

Identity [is] the garment [that] covers the nakedness of the self ... the garment [should] be loose ... like the robes of the desert, through which one's nakedness can always be felt, and sometimes, discerned. The trust in one's nakedness is all that gives one the power to change one's robes.

James Baldwin

I know a new kind of longing is breaking through even the oldest longings within you. It feels frightening. It feels free.

Ed Bok Lee, Pandemic Love

p.s. If you’d like to get more frequent updates, you can find me on Bluesky, Instagram, or Mastodon. And, of course, all book details are at https://www.megancarney.com