To all the things that seem to matter
“I have been learning the ways of the world for 40 years. It’s time the world learns my way.”
It was a sentence said in jest, but when these words left my mouth, I realised how true and fitting it was to where I am now. It’s funny how humans grow, as we try and fit into society’s norms, as we test our boundaries and see whether we’d get a slap on the wrist or praise because we “did the right thing”.
We come to a point (well, the luckier ones will, but you will too, if you let it) where we realise that our individual paths aren’t similar, and what works for one, can honestly be unsuitable for the other, and who’s to say who’s in the right when no one can live your life but you? Tangentially, have you heard of bazi GPT Cantian.AI? It’s interesting to learn a little more about what makes you, you, and the world you live in.
When zen gets you an irritated eyeroll
My father has been playing an online word game, Zen Word (iOS or Android), where he’s presented with a jumbled up group of letters and needs to fit them into specific numbers of words. It’s something I used to love to do as a kid, where I would write an actual long word out and build out as many words from that. While he’s just trying to keep his mind active, he gets awfully irked when I peer over and in 2 seconds say, “H U M B L E”. And he shifts bodily AWAY from me to stop me from checking out what he’s spelling out.
But then when I least expect it, he texts during the work day with “Songpe? One word.” (what’s your guess?) I suppose I’m still very amused that I get to impress my dad even at this age.
On grief and loss
Some friends have been hurting, and I just wanted to share some lines from Mary Oliver’s In Blackwater Woods I felt that with time, they could embrace. Even after 14 years, I cannot speak about my ma without crying, but I will say that the pain has left, and the fondness and wistfulness of what could have been remains.
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
This bittersweetness has been surging up within me in recent months where I feel I want to be more expressive about my appreciation towards friends who make me a better person, towards family especially because we didn’t choose to be with each other, but we stayed together.
SG60: Random things that make me Singaporean
Knowing I have food recs better than you
Being proud of an airport so well-serviced I get home in 20 minutes after landing
Kaya toast and eggs as my #1 breakfast choice
Respecting that lone tissue packet on the hawker table during lunch hour
Shutting up when I hear someone speaking Singlish when I’m overseas
Reading through this particular reddit thread and realising the fun of growing up in the late 90s and early 2000s
See you at the last train carriage, bjbs!
Medhā