The art of quitting
Happy New Year, to you, you and you. In two more weeks, it'll be another New Year for those who celebrate in Lunar months. I won't ask about resolutions or plan to set any, because honestly, we are constantly in a state of flux - growing, improving, feeling fatigued and taking a rest, so why make arbitrary promises just because the year goes on its annual reset?
The art of quitting
So you have hero as a synonym, like heroism as a synonym for grittiness, and then cowardice as a synonym for quitting.
Stumbled upon Annie Duke's conversation on The Science of Quitting where she speaks about regret asymmetry, and as I read, with The Great Resignation Wave as backdrop, it makes sense that so many of us tend to be very tolerant of the unhappiness that occurs by just staying the course. Yet we're very intolerant of the unhappiness that might occur if we switch. The what-ifs, the but-thens! Oh my!
We tend to think of decisions as last and final, Duke says, but the mindblowing realisation is: we can always change our course midway through, because the decisions we made at one point were done with the best information we had on hand. And who's to say you can't go back to choices that you rejected? Who's really judging? Why are we living by others' expectations and are we that important that People Are Watching Our Every Move? I'm exhausted by this thought, and I'm way too old to dance to a trendy TikTok ditty just to fit in.
Owning your story
When you've been through a "value" system that prides the sons and daughters who go on the path of Only One Way Up, when you surrender ownership of your life to The Successful Storyline, it's very scary to say, "I'll do things my way." Again with the what-ifs, what if I fail, what if I fall behind?
I'd say it's time to own your narrative. First, own up to who you are, uglies and all. I am overly empathetic. I am too horrendous a People Pleaser, with a "saviour" mindset. I really enjoy being a community builder but a part of me questions if my efforts are truly being appreciated. Also, whose validation am I chasing?
I want to work on self validation, to look inwards and grow to love myself. When your inner core is strong, oh, how you will shine!
Here's a step-by-step set of ideas to "manage" your personal brand. @amandanat suggests you define your goal (in this case, your reputation), identify your audience, choose up to three topics or headlines you want people to take away from interacting with you, and let your values speak for themselves. What do you really want to be known for?
A recipe doodle
In the past 24 hours, I have been:
Listening to: Paul Kim's Me After You, SechsKies' Hunch, Janelle Monáe's Make Me Feel (a song I'm learning choreography for, and massively flailing when I attempt to dance)
Reading: Madeline Miller's Circe
Watching: The Hungry and the Hairy and wondering what it's like to have a roadtrip through Jeju Island
( )( )( ):| (did you know this is ascii for marge simpson?)
Medhā