Sitting with myself: a difficult art

^ Thanks Tiff for spotting this in the supermarket. It made me keep an eye out while shopping for groceries and I laughed!

FOMO JOMO OMO

I haven’t found joy yet in eating by myself. I haven’t understood what some already did, way early on, that time spent by myself, with myself, can be a thing to be cherished.

My dad literally just laughed when I told him I’ll be taking it easy this weekend, and in his words, “You say this, but in a few hours, you’ll be telling me you’re headed off for a coffee or a meal with your friends.”

So when I say sitting with myself is a difficult art, it truly is, like a muscle unused to being flexed, like the FOMO layers start showing under the pretense of calm and self reflection.

I’m starting with small steps. This semi-any time newsletter is one of them, where I spend an hour or more, reflecting on my week, what ideas really filled my mind, and what articles I wanted to share with you. I’m also beginning to enjoy going out by myself, though it’s more task-oriented like buying art supplies or tshirts in-store, then grabbing a takeaway cup of tea on the way home. Still not there yet to go into a cafe by myself, just to sit and read. Go home, sit and read please.

The Grief Deck

I know some friends have been going through very difficult times, and I wanted to share this absolutely briliant and moving concept page I stumbled upon via Priya Parker’s recent newsletter.

The Artists’ Grief Deck

The ARTISTS’ GRIEF DECK is a set of 60 medium format ‘flashcards’ that are individually designed by artists, sometimes in collaboration with grief workers.

As the page writes, “Loss is experienced on numerous levels, and it is ongoing. It is not geographically specific, and so there is no ‘getting out’ of the affected area to recuperate and heal. As it takes an enormous toll in human life, it also prevents us from gathering together to mourn, interrupting rituals of grieving across all cultures.”

There is no one correct way to use these cards. All you need however, is to set aside some time to look at some of these flashcard prompts and be open to the feelings that may arise as you read. I hope these flashcards help elucidate what you may struggle with, that you can release, in any way, however much, some of the grief that you, and I, are living with.

Grow through what we go through

Platitudes and toxic positivity cliches on this pandemicky endemic aside, as you’re reading this, will you hold up all digits on your hand, and do a mental count with me?

Put a finger down if...

• You’ve had it with video calls and you’ve stood up for yourself by leaving the camera off, regardless of how cheery the meeting organiser is with their “come on everyone, put your cameras on, show me your lovely faces!”

• You wished people could stop it with the “how are you?”

• You have started to not check your work emails once you’ve clocked in the requisite hours

• You are rethinking meal planning, because hawker food and food delivery aren’t the most nutritious nor do they willingly offer veggies for you

• You miss your walks from home to the train station to office and all the way back - those good ol’ steps add to your health, even though they barely count

So ideally, as I typed those, I’m hoping everyone reached the stage of holding up a fist and looking like the Success Kid meme. It’s okay if you’ve got some weird combi of digits remaining, that’s your style.

Wherever you are, it’s okay.


With a side of sniffles,
Medhā