Being present with tea
Greeting the New Year with tea
"When you pick up your tea, you breathe in, in order to bring your mind back to your body, and become completely present in the here and now," Thich Nhat Hanh to Oprah, in 2012.
My 2023 started with a mixed group of friends gathering over cups of tea masterfully brewed by K, homemade scones, samosas from D and gula melaka sago from H. I'm really proud of my friends who showed up - a phenomenon (haha!) of being on IG for most of our leisure time, and how my friends actually know of each other is through their IG handles seen on my stories. Well, whichever way friendships start is always good, right?
Just last week, C texted to thank me for always organising dinner sessions with a group of friends. As I reflected upon his words of "u have a natural gift of bringing ppl together," a part of me truly feels the loss of natural forms of gatherings, where neighbours look out for each other, where extended families and friends grew (albeit there will always be small squabbles because we are not in Pleasantville) next to, and with each other for mutual support because gotong royong (loosely translated to cooperation in a community) helps keep relationships healthy and strong.
May we age creatively and gracefully like the subjects in S' photo project.
Say yes, more often, to grow
This year, I'm trying to appreciate being more spontaneous and saying yes to new experiences and possibilities. Besides taking up J's spontaneous jog request after work in the midweek (I haven't jogged in a year!), 7 days into the new year, I found myself handling a social experiment (read: date). That brought up the usual anxiety, post-engagement after-action review, and more importantly, self-affirmation that I'm pretty good where I am right now and it will be a nice bonus to find someone who makes me laugh and want to grow to be a better person with them, but if not, sua (scroll to Sep 2011's Singaporean definition). Being painfully honest, reaching the sua level took me many, many tries and I am still a work-in-progress because I keep falling from sua to why like that?
To my friends who have the emotional capacity to show up, especially the two friends who were waiting it out post-almost-blind-date as moral support to this person with a bad throat, you have my unequivocal friendship for many years to come.
Quick reads
We muddy our just-awoken minds by picking up the conveniently placed mobile phone and scrolling through the lives of others, as Ella F Sanders writes, of how we "default, often in boredom or evasiveness, to the thoughts of other people rather than following our own".
Do we take time to say kind things to each other? These are very powerful phrases I hope to inculcate in my everyday conversations, to pay it forward with small acts of kindness.
To my revenge travel friends, instead of Tokyo, Kyoto or Hokkaido, try to take an adventure to Takamatsu and Kagawa to visit Mount Yashima on the way to Setouchi Islands.
Just finished Dune Messiah - what a book. Can't wait for the rest of 2023!
Medhā