Being in your own season
Breaking a relatively long writing drought with a beautiful and gentle piece from @rainbowsalt on how alone doesn't mean lonely, and it is a season of anchoring; a reminder that you have the capacity to be your own home.
Sitting with yourself
... is a practice I keep going back to. We are so used to being busy that when there are pockets of time, the bizarre guilt of "why is there this down time?" and "am I missing something?" keeps us from understanding that having time to idle gives our brains the rest we need, in order to have new ideas spark, or just to digest what happened in the day.
I'm getting much better at stretching this muscle, maybe somewhat forced through the past month of long-term work travel. I'm raking in small wins, which may be negligible for readers who love their me-time, but having meals by myself outside in restaurants (okay.. one wasn't a restaurant, but a kaya toast and eggs coffeeshop) - this is me getting comfortable with my own company, finally. This old piece by NYT elucidates what I wanted to do - to be "more attuned to (my own) needs and practice self-care and self-compassion as necessary". Hopefully I can grow into being my own champion, soon.
Gathering for comfort
Dinner parties are the new pyjamas parties, no? As we emerge from our cocoon, ready to mingle with a tinge of caution, I'm seeing patterns of gatherings - to reaffirm friendships, to rebuild slightly broken ties, to heal.
Recently, I decided I missed hosting, and I did the most ambitious thing of saying "I want to celebrate my friends for being part of my life, so come whenever you like!" to groups of close friends and new friends. Sorta wrong move. I wasn't clear enough in terms of setting boundaries and being intentional enough. Last Saturday's 13-hour hosting stretch concluded with me feeling like I didn't manage to give sufficient attention to my guests, nor did I facilitate introductions well enough.
That said, I was very blessed witha full table of celebratory cakes, muffins, kuehs and hopefully my friends who made time to visit me, left with nourished hearts and possibly new friendships.
The Surprising Evolution of Dinner Parties | Bon Appétit
Hold the fancy china—it's time to get comfy.
The article above, quoting my favourite Gatherist, Priya Parker, really spoke to me because while defining a purpose for a party does come across as a little "too much like sending out a meeting agenda", Parker reminds us that having purpose “allows people some amount of shared context, a shared story, a shared way of knowing what to talk about,” and the added context helps guests settle into the event and enjoy the company of others.
Interestingly enough, Parker also shares that apart from being a deliberate and mindful host, one can also be a delightful guest in the following ways:
A good guest helps meaning-make
A good guest commits
A good guest thinks like a host
A good guest thoughtfully fills in the gaps
A good guest can alter other guests(' experience)
I highly recommend you read through what these points mean, and maybe with this sharing of ideas, we can grow gatherings beyond the perception of "host" and "guest", because we have more opportunities to be guests than hosts, and who doesn't love a party where you leave feeling good?
In the past 48 hours, I have been:
Listening to: Jay Park (feat. IU)'s GANADARA , NDPeeps' Home (because it's about time), My Fair Lady Musical's I could have danced all night
Reading: Chris Voss' Never split the difference & Bill Gates' How to avoid a climate disaster
Catching up,
Medhā