April showers bring May flowers
Un-busy your days
It's been a good 10 years since I was recommended Quiet by Susan Cain, to understand the power of introverts, and to appreciate what I couldn't wrap my then-rather extroverted mind around.
Back then, I always thought the more I did, the more friends I had, the more I did have. But it was never enough, and I felt empty. Empty, even if I had plans upon plans and a very filled calendar.
Eventually (and this is a very recent eventually), I realised I was pegging my self-worth to how busy I was. I wanted to be needed - to be part of a gathering, to contribute something no one else could - but actually, I was always uncomfortable and trying to be someone I wasn't.
It took an age to tell myself, "It's ok. You are enough, and I see you." If you've been reading my past letters, you know I took deliberate action to be okay with being by myself. To undo the need to fill my days up. Of course, I still slip up every now and then and exhaust myself terribly. Then I recalibrate, hibernate, and find my footing again.
Create margin in your schedule
Unscheduled, unplanned, blank spaces in our lives allows us to meet the moment for what it calls for. Because moments aren’t planned. Life happens all the time.
I enjoyed this reminder by Kyunghee, where she too knows that being quiet can make some of us feel unproductive, but it is because of the deeply entrenched definition of productivity (whose?). I grew up in a time where we could dial our friend's number, and have a chat most randomly, but now? Priorities, busybees, et al.
I'll take the rest of May and some parts of June for unplanned spontaneous moments of magic, and report back (whether there's) success to you.
Stepping out of the comfort zone
Every time I look at this recent series of photographs we took in Jeju, I can't help but be glad we made the long overdue family trip happen in spite of flight cancellations (bye Scoot) and messed-up weather.
Initially, my dad was very against this photoshoot ("For what? Don't waste time.") but he did his best to smile for the camera even while feeling physically quite unsteady in a new country. We managed to create some good memories, save for the horrific "please push your stomachs against each other, hug, and look here~" Korean photographer moment in the other field of flowers.
A reminder & some tunes for May
D.O's That's OK
Elaine's Rain or shine
Smyang's Still with you
FAIR GAME's Wednesday afternoon
(and it looks like a hidden message),
Medhā