2022: A year in review
The joy of now
Dec 2022: Strong gusts of wind blew against my face as I stood watching the waves crashing against the shore, the bite of sand hitting my feet as the wind ran harshly across the surface. Children laughing trying to build something, anything, on the beach even with the red flags in every other corner screaming "Beach Closed (due to weather)".
What a year 2022 has been. It's gifted me with work travels, where I was able to grow my knowledge of key safety issues in the Internet space, met up with colleagues I've only spoken to virtually for a good 1.5 years, and strengthened friendships from many far-flung corners.
I'm also visibly slowing down and accepting that I've changed a fair bit since who I was a few years ago. Age has happened; I catch myself when I feel left out, and ask - do I really want to be included, and why? Age has happened; I literally am enjoying meals by myself (this was unheard of, even up till early this year when I was taking baby steps by having Yakun toast and eggs outside by myself), and thriving in alone time.
I had a eureka moment after reading this well-written explanation of how I felt, feeling change, growth, loss, and ultimately feeling joy about myself.
These are the days where seeing old friends brings joy, while also being aware of just how much things have changed. It’s possible to connect without revealing other parts of you as long as you are okay with it... in other words, it’s okay to not show all of you. Save your energy and peace.
There is also the choice of not reconnecting at all. There is nothing wrong with that. I am a people pleaser so I am trying to practice liking myself more than my desire to live up to someone else’s version of me. (Kim Kyunghee)
5 memorable moments of 2022
Standing just under my friend's void deck and having a Wes Anderson x Telok Blangah moment, before enjoying a meal with friends
Spending rainy days with my sister in Melbourne and Gold Coast, and appreciating our grown camaraderie of "Let's cancel that Italian dinner - kimchi and ramyun ok?" amidst the quiet loss we always hold in our hearts
Feeling supported at work with friends I made - yes, we don't always need to have friends, especially in a workplace, but in my line of work as partnerships, hard not to want to develop something relatively real enough and trusted
Discovering late in the year that I have been unkind to myself by not upholding my own boundaries. Our culture (Asian and otherwise) has always nagged at "putting others before yourself" until habis, lah. Read this to learn how to be kind to ourselves.
The moment I realise my years of chronic constipation (really getting TMI personal, since this is my newsletter after all!) is finally on the road to recovery after I spent this entire year undergoing traditional Chinese medicine and acupuncture. Remember, health, and your life, is yours to lead and cherish. No one's going to be able to fix you, if you don't make time to fix yourself.
The next chapter
Let's not put off happiness just because we feel we need to work hard for it or we need to deserve it. Joy starts where you are. That's my mantra for 2023.
Wishing you a gentle December, and even if January demands to start work, get some good sleep first.
Medhā