The perfect gift
#82: Cheap and lovely; the present of presence
OPENING REMARKS
Hello and welcome to all you new subscribers. I’m happy to host you in my small corner of the internet. As for what you’re about to read, forgive me — I got a little silly here (all in earnest of course). Per usual, photos in the middle and links at the end! Thanks for being here.
In the spirit of giving, I’ve collected and assembled the very unofficial and completely arbitrary Gift Guide Miscellanea™ of 2021. I put the year in the title not to promise a future trend, but because it looks and sounds cool (this is why I do most things).
I‘m sure you’re all aware by now that the global supply chain is amuck and that many proper shipping deadlines have passed. No worries, I have the perfect way around that shit. In my opinion, the best gift you can give is something you already have or don’t need to buy. Something that will cost you (almost) absolutely nothing! This is not to say cheap, but inexpensive; not thoughtless, but easygoing.
So — the best gift I can give you at this moment is to get out of my way and let you in on some of this hectic holiday season’s hottest items. Call it a listicle, call it prose. What’s the difference? Counting down from 6:
6. A walk in the park 👣
For you, basically
You don’t have to walk through cemeteries as I do, but you must take some time in your schedule for a walk. Walks are uniquely magic excursions — our only true hope for figuring out anything at all. Each step is an explosion of endorphins and loosens our grip on all we’re holding so tightly to.
5. A cozy night at home 🛋️
For you and yours and theirs
Much is made of the night out, and the holiday offers many of them. But I think we’re well aware that there is nothing like a night at home in the holiday time. Bake your doughy soul in the bright lights of your Christmas tree and feel your heart expand! I recommend a compliment of your favorite holiday movie, cookies in the oven, and someone by your side.
4. A long, drawn-out hug 💝
For yours, especially
Not enough can be said for the comfort of a hug in overtime. Sometimes you forget that a hug is a hug — until you’re wrapped in the arms of someone that cares about you and they decide that they’d like to hold on a little longer.
3. A thank-you letter 💌
For anyone and everyone
Thanks are the ultimate double gift. Not only do you get an immediate mood boost upon grounding yourself in the reality of gratitude, but anyone on the other end of a sincere and hand-written thank you note will likely remember it forever. It means a lot!
2. A slow, hot shower 🚿
For you and you alone
There are way too many people telling you to wake up with a cold shower. Defy the world and treat yourself. Do not rush, do not feel like you’ve gotta get out and do something else. Use the nicest products you have – as much as you want to. Take forever. Sing to yourself. Shake your little booty.
1. A drive: windows down, music up 🚗
For posterity
The days are short, so you’ll need to take off early for golden hour. Take the slow road, play your favorite album, crank the volume, and roll those windows down. Be obnoxious and do not be ashamed.
I hope you didn’t think I was actually going to make a gift guide. If so, this would have been incredibly disappointing. I’m pretty good at gifting and recommendations, but it probably would’ve felt futile to send out another gift guide as we’re all drowning in sales funnels and holiday planning.
The truth is, the perfect gift for anyone to give or receive is simply presence. A lot is going on this time of year — I know I’m having a hard time keeping up. And so I do genuinely hope that you find a gap in your schedule and make some room for the bliss of true presence.
It’s all around me ✨
Some favorite snaps from the past couple of weeks. General vibes this week. More specific vibes in weeks to come.
True miscellanea 💡
💆 An alternative perspective on self-care
”Every critique of self-care—that it glorifies consumption, promotes self-absorption, and represents an individual retreat from public life—is true. Unfortunately, you still have to take care of yourself.“
⚒️ 47 points in praise of generalism
”Generalism is not the opposite of specialism. It includes specialism. Everyone gets to experience both.“
⏲️ Long hours make bad neighbors
“It’s not on any one person to completely change the structure of American life. But by looking outside ourselves a little more, if we can, we may be able to make such change more possible.”
🌐 People Aren’t Meant to Talk This Much
“...encouraging people to ‘speak’ online as much as possible is in the tech giants’ best interest. Internet companies call this ‘engagement.’ The gospel of engagement duped people into mistaking using the software with carrying out meaningful or even successful conversations.”
”The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others.“
bell hooks, RIP