winter chaos
well. I wrote a fragment of an idea and could not get to the part that was the whole point. So I am open to questions, suggestions:
I am not, at this moment, striving to recreate or - this is terrifying - be sucked back into the bright chaos that was El Dorado Elementary on the cusp of holiday break. I do, however, feel that the unhinged, sugar-fueled state of those little weirdos on a day when sun and rain vied for control of the horizon sent me on a week-long rampage of frantically seeking, snatching, and downing happiness-encrusted moments at every turn. Chomping them like rock candy in all their glitter and short-lived glory. So perhaps that energy, which sent me pirouetting through the air the way a dog toy is launched (out of control) deserves description.
On my way to and from work, I have the opportunity to gaze over the city and the sparkling bay from the top of a hill at McLaren Park. Yet another >180 degree view from which I can easily see through the tricks of the weather. I see golden swaths of sun and knots of storm and know, from my perch, that each is just a temporary ruse here along the bay. So, on Thursday morning, I slid from the doors of the bus, rounded the hill, and allowed the sunlight to spread across my face. Following my new blue boots as they teeter down the path, I turn my head to scan this lucky, immense view before swooping down the hill, up the stairs and into the strange universe that is elementary school.
I’m having trouble getting to what it is about the little chairs and the little people (kids) with their ideas and their slime and the big people (teachers) with their plans and their exhaustion and the way that I talk to the little ones and the things they want to tell me and the way they are getting to know us tutors as characters, fixtures, in this classroom-sized world that feels so much like a bursting, chaotic, wonderful living thing.
^clearly my brain is still feeling out of control but I hope to settle it soon and hopefully write more.
Happy new year thanks for reading my fragment
<3