Live Laugh Plan.

Coming soon: Peace Love Planning 2026!

That’s right, after a year-long hiatus, during which I imagine NO PLANNING of any kind took place anywhere, my annual planner will be here shortly. It’s been comprehensively refreshed and will just about guarantee that 2026 proves your best year yet.

Look for increasingly breathless announcements in the near future!

I loved hearing from you.

Wow, I really heard a LOT from you after November’s Q&A (Husband decides he’s bisexual. Now what?). Thanks! I love when you write back 🥰

Saigon and Chiang Mai

I’m just back from a too-short trip to Southeast Asia to see friends in Vietnam and do a cooking tour with Mandy Lee in Thailand. I think it’s safe to say that most anglophones prefer Thailand to Vietnam but I tell you what: Saigon is wild and I loved it and I hope to go back and also see the North.

Chiang Mai was lovely, really nice, very much set up for tourism. And I’m a tourist, no question! But being in Vietnam with resident friends vs Thailand with a tour group (the BEST group you could ever hope for, all these people were doing everything they do at a very high level, including being nice and thoughtful), well it’s just a really different experience.

But I also just dug the vibe of Saigon. And … the food! We had GREAT food in Thailand, that was really the whole purpose of the tour, but what can I say? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It was EVEN BETTER in Vietnam. Had a sublime banh mi from a roadside stand and a motorbike dinner tour with about eight stops (see snail restaurant owner above). Every course fresher and more delicious than the last. I would go back in a heartbeat.

It was good to be with people during the whole trip. This is my second big holiday since The Dumpening, and much the easier of the two. Hawaii in January was not something I had super looked forward to; it was a case of last moment to use a ticket (the ticket that I was supposed to use for my birthday trip with my assumed husband; he announced his permanent departure a few days before we would have flown to Maui together.)

I made the best of that trip, so I did. I also made some mistakes, as you might expect. Doris Duke’s Shangri La Museum of Islamic Art was my best choice; highly recommended. Perhaps the world’s finest docents work there. I also had an incredible backyard-lime margarita with friends of a friend; they were so kind and hospitable and interesting.

And I honestly had a delightful time just parked on the beach in Waikiki, drinking my drugstore sparkling wine out of my travel mug so as not to pay the poolside prices for champagne (5x). And shopping. I got three glorious dresses that I am getting tons of use out of; took them all to Asia this trip. (Carryon only!!) And I bought the best read of the year (Midnight, Water City by Chris McKinney) at Da Shop in Kaimuki, really good bookstore.

Anyway, the point is, it was hard in the expected ways and also unexpected ways to be in that beautiful place alone, reckoning with my still-new (to me, not to my ex, who knew for months before I did) status as single bitch.

Weird, is what I’m saying it was. And I think I might have done better with company.

So previously, I would not have thought of myself going on a tour with a tour company. And yet! I could not have made a better pick. (Ace Camps Travel: just fantastic.) It was a small and balanced group of men and women, couples and singles, the old, the young, and the middle-aged. Minority white, nice surprise.

I will go again! Two of the people on the trip had been to eight or 10 trips with the same company already. The youngest person on the trip said to me I don’t really know you that well, but I think you’d really dig the Jaipur trip. I was like Hahahahahahahaha not gonna happen thanks tho. The next day I said But tell me more. And the third day: I’m in! Gonna save my pennies.

Anyway, this is all to say: I had such hopes for my life. It is a motherfucker to be dumped in your mid-60s, knowing you yourself were NEVER gonna tap out, and seeing Oh wow, I really should have. Such modest hopes, such a meager return. I’m looking at shit there’s truthfully no better word for than RUIN.

I am still accommodating all this and now I know lolsob there’s probably much more that hasn’t even surfaced yet, and I’m going to have to accommodate all of that too.

And yet! I’m doing so much better. I honestly had a great time. I look forward living to more of this life, hopefully part of it in Hanoi.

The end of chaotic eating? Now that’s a gift.

Despite what they tell ya, nothing could be easier. You don’t have to do it the hard way.

GIVEAWAY!

Did you know Modern Daily Knitting has a membership society? It is full of delightful benefits, and they have generously let me give away a membership. You can enter to win by commenting on my IG post here.

I’m not super active on there, so how to say this? YER ODDS of winning ARE GOOD.

RECOMMENDING.

Watching.

My pal Madge, known to the world as Your Pal Madge, and also “The Bob Ross of Flowers” has been gardening on YouTube. I do see the Bob Ross thing for sure, but for me it’s even better: Madge’s videos give me that all-over Animal Crossing feeling. I think you will dig her video called My Anti 💛 SAD Plan: How I’m Staying Happy All Winter.

Wake Up Dead Man. You have a couple more days to see this at the cinema, but it’ll be on Netflix starting the 12th. It’s the third of the Knives Out movies and I think the wildest and best. Like the others, it has that uncanny wait-what-year-is-this? vibe and I do not think I guessed one single thing. Loved it!

Writing.

Over at Modern Daily Knitting, Self-care: Your rock-bottom cheat sheet, or What to do when you just can't do what you need to do.

Eating.

Mandy asked us what weird experiments we were looking forward to in the kitchen when home. I cannot stop thinking about a mashup of the Breakfast Cereal Chevvdo from Kushbu Shah’s Amrikan with Mandy’s own prune-studded Taiwanese Snowflake Crisp. I will report back!

Defeating jet lag.

Timeshifter. This astronaut-endorsed app helps with jet lag by telling you when to see light, when to block it, when to use caffeine, when to stop, when to sleep and when to get up. It’ll give you one free trip plan, and then there’s an annual fee for unlimited trips.

I was pretty worried about the jet lag, as Boston to Saigon is maximally upside down, exactly 12 hours apart. I also haven’t been in Asia for 10 years, and I was so much younger 10 years ago. Anyway, I followed the recommendations as best I could.

What happened was I avoided exactly zero suffering. All the app does is front-load the misery of jet lag to get some of it out of the way before you leave. Which ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I guess is a win! I was not a total wreck, and that’s what you want to avoid when you’ve spent one million dollars to go someplace fancy and amazing.

I left Thailand at 10am Sunday morning and almost 24 hours later got into Boston near midnight. Midnight the same day, that is. Midnight is clearly bedtime so I thought I’d be golden, but as I write this, it’s the Friday after that Sunday and I’m still waking up before 3am and am fully dead by lunchtime. I had two naps (two!!!) DURING the Thanksgiving festivities.

But I’m still doing better than I would be without Timeshifter. And that makes this another 3 out of 5 star endorsement from your friend

Max

See you soon!

PS How can astronauts suffer from jet lag?? Don’t they get to just make up their own concept of time?? Nobody can hear your clock ticking in space!