VGer is my lover.
Yesterday, I started radiotherapy.
I could not decide whether to call this post "The Illustrated Boob," "They shot me with a proton gun," "The lion lies down with the LINAC," or "No tattoos today, always tattoos tomorrow."
VGer won.
Anyway, my full-time job (with commute) is now lying down in a LINAC five days a week until the end of January. Barring snow days. (They tack them on to the end.)
So, if you were wondering about the mysteries of what it's like to be the target of a particle accelerator, a week ago I went in for a CT scan to accurately locate my various organs and things that Needed Irradiation and those that Should Not Be Irradiated (ribs, heart, lungs). I had stickers applied to my body at, basically, solar plexus, sternum, and on the sides of my ribcage as targeting points. At that point I was told that I'd probably get my tattoos Monday the 13th, which was yesterday as I write this.
December 13th was already a significant date for me. It's the birthday of my fifth grade best friend and three other amazing women I have cared very much for in this life, and it was also the birthday of the Giant Ridiculous Dog. Now, it will also always be the day I laid myself down in a particle accelerator for the first time.
Anyway, yesterday I went in for more calibration and my first treatment. They decided to delay the tattoos until they could check it all out and have the radiation oncologist and the physicist look everything over.
(Yes, I have a physicist. I have not yet met them.)
Apparently, the physicist wanted some dosage readings, so I didn't get tattoos today either. I got diodes taped to my chest to measure the dosage, and got irradiated again.
The treatment I am receiving is a fairly new modality that involves protons instead of x-rays. The pleasant thing about the protons is that they are less penetrating, so--since they are shooting radiation at my ribs, heart, and left lung--the side effects should be greatly lessened. Less chance of damage to my vital organs or rib fractures.
The LINAC that is irradiating me is one part Bertha, one part Medusa, and one part space probe. The room is very cold, for her protection, and lying in her many arms is a bit like kissing a vampire. The radiologists arrange me and then they flee, leaving me alone with the Elephant's Foot.
I asked if there would be any sensation from the treatment, and the techs said that I shouldn't expect much until the side effects set in around Christmastime. (I'm using two different burn creams for the radiation burns I am assured are inevitable. I have a very well-moisturized boob, which also looks like a toddler took a blue sharpie to it, because I seem to get drawn on a lot lately. Maybe tomorrow I will get those tattoos and all these stickers and scribbles can leave my life. The stickers itch, mildly.)
I am having occasional twinges of... warmth? discomfort? But no pain. My radiation oncologist checked today and said that the redness was fluid, not infection. Onward!
I also got checked by my general surgeon today, and he says I'm healing well. He's grumpy with himself about the dimpling around the area where he had to re-open the incision, but I don't mind it too much. I told him I was pleased because I tried on an underwire bra this weekend and realized that the wire and the seams don't chafe any of the scar tissue.
His comment: "We can pretend I did that on purpose. I mean, I totally did that on purpose."
Seriously I adore this guy.
I also am very fond of both my radiologists, even if they do tend to write on me and then take photos. In a very cold room. (For Medusa's protection.) I've only met the radiation oncologists briefly but they both seem lovely and kind, and my somewhat prickly medical oncologist was actually a bit softer when last we spoke, when he told me that the results of the genetic testing were in my favor.
I guess that's a job where you really need to keep your guard up, honestly. I don't think I could do it. The result of that meeting is that I am on an estrogen blocker for 5-10 years, which is not doing my hot flashes and night sweats any favors.
These are the first of 32 total treatments. I am again promised tattoos tomorrow. And I have to go to bed now because I'm the second patient on the schedule and these folks do not sleep in.