*taps mike*

Swabs shoved up noses and rapid test scrounging
 Masking and face shields and HEPA vacuuming
 Cancelled holiday flights that are not taking wing
 These are the pandemic holiday things.

Supply chain crunches, apology email;
 No turkeys to be had for love or by blackmail;
 Pier 1 has bad news about those napkin rings;
 These are the pandemic holiday things.

Girls in their PJs and with big fluffy slippers;
 If you're ordering takeout be generous tippers.
 Not putting on hard pants until sometime in spring
 These are the pandemic holiday things.


Happy whatever you celebrate, folks. I hope it is or was or will be safe and congenial and warm.