Social media does have its uses.
In my last email, I was talking about how social media and the unblinking Sauron-eye of the Internet can make creating good art very hard, because that sense of selfconsciousness and being judged can give you the wobblies for sure. You get tight; you freeze up; and you crash.
And honestly, I’ve had enough experience at this point with being bullied and brigaded that there’s a little adrenaline spike involved even in checking Bluesky. And a little adrenaline spike involved in admitting that I have that trauma, because what if the brigades show up again?
But fuck it, I’m here to be honest. Essays, even informal ones, are a form of art too.
Anyway, that led me to thinking of all the online communities that I have been a part of that have blossomed for a while and then fallen by the wayside, and how much I miss them. Or rather, it’s not that I miss Usenet, or Livejournal, or pre-algo Instagram and Facebook, or early-days Twitter so much, as I miss the people. I miss the connection and the community and the ability to keep track of my friends and relations in a convenient destination where we can hang out and chat in groups or singly.
Whenever a default platform shifts, or goes to a private space like a Discord or something, some people inevitably drop off. And sometimes they are the people you most want to stay. Communities have a life cycle just like everything else, and—just like everything else—there’s some grief involved in that process.
I was thinking the other night that grief is like snow. It piles up over time, and it can be light and drifting or heavy and sticky and impossible to slog through. There are thaws where it recedes and storms where it can swallow you.
And that grief of community loss is real. It’s a sadness we have to get through, and go on and build the next community, the next system of people who want to be and talk and laugh and problem-solve together. Which will last for as long as it lasts, and then we do it again.
Because the people in the internet are real people, with real hearts and real needs, and all we can try to do is be kind to each other.
Best,
Bear