Adventures with cats
Molly: I am on the armoire! Pet me, pet me, pet me!
Me: **Pets, dutifully.**
Molly: **Purrs and wiggles and purrs until she accidentally steps off into thin air with one back paw. She teeters and starts to fall!**
Me: **Catches her under the arm with one hand, tries to push her back onto the armoire.**
Molly: TRAITOR! BETRAYER! MONSTER! **struggles wildly**
Me: **Lowers cat to floor as gently as possible one-handed, while being clawed at**
Molly: **YOUR TREACHERY WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN! YOUR NAME IS INFAMY!**
Me: Yep, that was about what I expected.
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