you're always miles ahead
Hellohello, happy friendsgiving!
(I know that people celebrate friendsgiving the week before thanksgiving, but since we don't celebrate thanksgiving here and I think thanksgiving is kinda problematic anyway, but I still like the idea of friendsgiving, I celebrate friendsgiving on thanksgiving.)
This year, friendsgiving/thanksgiving falls on my late sister's birthday (which is today, the day I'm writing this) and I still don't know what to do with the fact that eight whole years have gone by without her aging one bit. It's weird to think that my memory of her will be that same person forever, and I would never get to know the person she was going to grow to be, you know?
I think about her a lot when I play Animal Crossing which, as everyone else moves on, is a game I mostly play solo these days when I play it at all. She died before ACNH, but we talked about City Folk a few times and we always played Sims with one another even when it wasn't really a multiplayer game. When she died we were playing some otome games together (our characters would do events/parties together for more points), and I guess it's weird playing this game alone when I know that if she was around, it would've been another one of our things.
(I forgot that we played D&D together, too, until I was cleaning the other day and found her old character sheets.)
These days I feel disconnected at work - but then again, I tend to feel disconnected from everything this time of the year - and I kind of wish that there's something I actually want to do instead, but there really isn't. I don't think I want anything other than time to read or work on my worldbuilding (maybe even designing new spells and classes and magic items, but that would really take up time I don't have to spare so I just think about them and cry inside) but that's probably just because both of those things are a means of escape.
I mean, even writing this newsletter is kind of a distraction from some very concrete things that I don't want to write about. I was going to just share a post I started and didn't finish from the last Venus retrograde, but instead I'm just going to say, Mercury retrograde is coming up again next month, and this might be a bumpy one, but we'll get through it okay. Okay?
I haven't done a November minizine yet because my mind keeps jumping around between half a dozen half-finished zine thoughts. If you have ideas, share them!
The title is from The Innocence Mission's Tomorrow On the Runway - "did you leave the darkness without me? / you're always miles ahead / and you're standing in tomorrow on the runway"
Have a good friendsgiving, eat lots (eat for me too cuz I'm going to have to wait for next Monday for anything other than leftover Halloween candy I bought for our in-person game lol) and stay hydrated!!!