previously on
Writing last week’s newsletter got most of my desire to read and write out of my system - I’m still reading fairy tales every now and then, and a bit from the copy D’Aulaire’s Book of Norse Myths at my desk every working day, but the… energy, I guess - that’s gone. I no longer have essays and vignettes forming in my head begging to be written down. And it’s been such a busy week, it took me awhile to realise that it’s already the weekend.
Time for me to focus on practical things, I guess.
Recently a pipe in my walls burst, and it was at a location where the affected wall was covered by my bed’s headboard. I didn’t notice until water started pooling on the floor. By the time I found the source and tried to pull my bed away to see, the water had seeped up the pulp of the bed, and… goodbye, bed. Apparently, a lot of pipes have been breaking all over the apartment, so it took awhile for the management to get to mine. (In fact, they haven’t even got to my email, and were responding to the neighbour in the apartment below, as it was starting to affect their apartment as well.) So this week, three plumbers came and started hacking at my walls to find the leak, and patch it up. Since I had a longer leave than usual, I also to throw away the unusable parts of the bed, salvaging the usable bit (it has a second bed underneath that you can pull out - this second bed was mostly unaffected) and doing a LOT of laundry, and cleaning. After a few days of that, it’s still a little too dusty in my room to spend a lot of time in without a mask. I need a few more days to do a deep clean, but I don’t have that, as I start working again tomorrow - or rather, today. By the time this newsletter is in your inbox, I’ll be at my desk, trying to ignore D’Aulaire’s in favour of actual work.
I thought I would be working on superfairyanimal #18, or catching up with my journals, this week. I thought I would at least play a week’s worth of ACNH, as I do want to catch up in time to play Halloween in real time. Instead, I was doing all that cleaning, and for some reason also picking back up on cataloging my shelves, which I haven’t really done since the first lockdown in 2020. I weeded out some books, made space on my shelves. I spent nearly a whole day reading a Webtoon that I started on a whim. I read the week’s X-Men releases on Marvel Unlimited (not to be confused with the week’s releases at actual stores, which would be 3 months ahead of what I’m reading!). I watched five episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender with Patricia.
I did a lot, but none of the stuff I said I wanted to do last week, which was kind of what I predicted would happen.
BOOKS I’VE BEEN READING
Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space by Amanda Leduc
This is an interesting book I found on Scribd. I’ve been interested in reading more about disability in fairy tales since I started watching Jen Campbell’s fairy tale videos. This book isn’t an academic one - Amanda Leduc isn’t a folklorist or an academic - but more of a memoir, chronicling her own illness and struggles, interspersed with fairy tales and how they affected how she viewed herself and other disabled people, growing up. I really like a lot of the points she made about the way fairy tales were used to make sense of and create a narrative about disability, and how that narrative needed to change. I love how there’s an entire chapter about superhero stories (both in comics and film) have started to change that narrative somewhat, and where they fall short. I really would love to see the X-Men bits expanded more, because I’ve read a lot of people write about the mutant metaphor as a way to talk about racism and queerphobia, but when it comes to disability it was always just mentioned, like, “oh yeah, and it might work better as a metaphor for disability.”
I especially related to the bit about changelings - having once wondered/wished I was one, thinking it would explain how I don’t seem to think the same way as those around me - and how babies born with congenital deformity were often taught to be changelings, as were children that had symptoms of autism as they grew older. (The memory of my mother looking at me and saying calmly, “you’re not even human, you’re a monster”, because I wasn’t yet good at mimicking facial expressions back then, is still very clear in my mind. I mean, I’m not great NOW, but good enough that people say “you don’t look/seem autistic” at least! Also, yes, that is kind of what my IG username is based on.)
What I didn’t like, though, was how this book ignored Hans Christian Andersen’s queerness in its reading of “The Little Mermaid”. Like, I get that it’s an interesting tale to read especially in relation to the topic of this book - Andersen’s mermaid can’t walk, then walking is incredibly painful to her, and she can’t speak. But I was reading this book so soon after listening to an analysis of this story on a podcast that also dismisses the fact that it’s about queer longing, and I guess it made me resent the erasure even more.
Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith
I really loved this book. I read several YA books with a trans (or in the trans spectrum) MC this year that some of them had kind of blurred together. I was afraid that this was going to be one of those that I don’t remember - and I might forget all the typical high school plot details, as I tend to do that with all by contemporary YA anyway - but this is definitely one of the better ones. It’s also not an easy read - there’s dysphoria, transphobia, dead naming, bullying, suicidal ideation, and public outing. Not stuff that I am exactly in the mood for in an already anxiety-ridden year. And the MC, Pony, isn’t the greatest. He gets on my nerves sometimes, especially when he’s justifying his shitty actions in the name of being more stealthy about the fact that he’s trans. BUT - I also get it, and I can’t stand that his best friend doesn’t (especially since his best friend is also trans, and should understand that it isn’t always safe to be “out and proud.”) And, I don’t know, reading about dysphoria might be triggering for some, but it makes me feel… like I’m not crazy? That this anxiety and restlessness is valid? For years I felt uncomfortable when some of my friends talk about dysphoria, because the dysphoria they were experiencing was very different from mine. It’s thanks to books like this that I can really put a name to this feeling, I guess. OH, AND - this book is also a romance, but the romance bit is pretty standard high school romcom fare. Better than some, definitely, but really not my cup of tea. (And yes, the title and MC’s name are tributes to The Outsiders.)
WHAT I’M WATCHING
I’m currently almost done with Avatar: The Last Airbender and am really looking forward to starting Korra! It’s a little strange watching it again, because I somehow forgot how early or how late certain events happen in the story. I’m also rewatching What Did You Eat Yesterday? which is nice but I prefer reading it. And I’m still only at episode 2 of What If?, but that may change - being behind on the MCU is making me itch, with all the spoilers on twitter.
I’ve just started on Only Murders in the Building just because I wasn’t in the mood for anything else (that I don’t plan to watch with others) but two episodes in, I think I might be hooked? It’s a comedy/mystery, and it’s so REFRESHING to watch a mystery in English that isn’t all dark and depressing and super violent. Emphasis on the English part because I’ve watched lot of this in Japanese dramas.
Speaking of darker stuff, though, I’m really looking forward to watching Y: The Last Man!
So… earlier this week I planned to write about something completely different, but I forgot. I’m sorry?
STAY SAFE!