The Shapes of Giving & Recieving v2
the squiggly line between people pleasing & giving from our true heart
7/27/24
Dear Community,
In my last email I shared my perspective on receiving gifts…but the name for this series was born from a different experience.
I’m sure we’ve all been there…
Someone you love is having a birthday celebration and you’re just not in the mood….but you go anyway because you love the person so much.
Well, it happened to me last week. I was driving in traffic across town to show up for a loved one, while simultaneously feeling a lot of resistance to going.
On the drive over, the phrase “The Shapes Of Giving and Receiving” came to mind, with an image of the baby shape game above. 🟣⭐️🔷🟩🩵
I felt that the shape of this offering, driving across town in the middle of the day, to spend time in an environment that isn’t my cup of tea, spend $ for expensive valet, and sit in traffic on the way home, handing over 5 peak hours of my day….wasn’t the best way for me to share my love….it wasn’t a shape that fit me right now.
….while simultaneously there would be other ways that I could use my resources to share love in ways that this friend would love to receive, that would be a nice shape for both of us.
The question emerged…
Where is the line? between:
People pleasing/overriding our own truth/overextending
and
Being generous and giving from a place of Love?
Let’s be honest…there isn’t a distinct line. It’s an ever moving animation, taking different form itself depending on so many factors…where we’re at in ourselves, the nature of relationships at different times….
Sometimes it’s both - sometimes we’re okay with it, sometimes we’re not. What a mess! ;)
…but I still like asking the question. (over and over)
It hurts sometimes, when we can’t shape ourselves to meet someone else’s desires/needs, or they can’t shape themselves to meet ours.
It’s tender.
I’ve been on both sides, and as we all well know, when we have present day experiences in which our desires or needs aren’t met, we can feel earlier wounds being touched on…
…but we can do our best to care for each other lovingly through being honest and communicative as we navigate these relational waves together… and co-create shapes that form from our collective truth.
🟣⭐️🔷🟩🩵
Last year I attended a platonic/sensual intimacy retreat that kicked off with some dyad connection exercises, one of which feels relevant to share.
Our partner laid down, and we were asked to give them touch that we thought would feel good for them (for maybe 30 seconds)….
then we asked for feedback on how it felt for them, on a scale from 1 to 10.
Then we were asked to offer them touch that also felt enjoyable for US to give. Our shapes took different form- less methodical, less thought out…
and again ask for feedback at the end.
The unanimous feedback resonated through the room, that the second round of touch was more enjoyable to receive than the first.
Such a simple exercise, that helped teach an important lesson.
Find ways to give that feel good to you too, and everyone will benefit.
Anyway, these are just thoughts + experiences that I’m sharing.
All of this being said, being generous and giving feels SO GOOD!!! It’s one of the best feelings! It’s a true pleasure of being human.
My words are just an invitation to notice if there are times or ways when you find yourself giving in ways that are draining and could potentially be altered to feel better for you too.
I am proud to have created a professional practice that feels good for me to offer. Rather than fitting into a box, I’ve created a custom shape that fits how I like to work with people.
It is such a heartfelt pleasure to give nurturing touch via craniosacral sessions & holding expansive space for journeywork…
Thank you for being a part of my own journey and receiving what I love to offer! ♡
Much Love,
Mari
Recent Testimonial:
Mari's ability to hold space is miraculous and deeply healing, not only in her touch but in her presence itself. In that safety, I've unearthed a lot about myself that wanted to be named and opened, without knowing I even needed to. Her space is an angelic oasis in a frenetic world, and a chance to still my mind and heart into its truth and wisdom. Mari's gentle support and guidance is allowing me to find and live a clearer, more aligned version of my life. -AS