the proverbial "it" + cake season
full spectrum feelings & black sesame almond plum cake
9/17/24
Dear Everybody ♡
A lot of us are going through it right now.
the proverbial it.
Although the it through which I am going may differ in details from yours, I do imagine underneath those details we find ourselves grappling with a similar collection of feelings.
I will admit, I continue to be a most awkward party guest. As the “how aaaare yoouuu?!’s” roll in, my responses tend to bounce between “full spectrum, as always” and “Life is a lot!” ….
don’t get me wrong, I am experiencing joy, pleasure, humor, gratitude, inspiration, love…. and I’m also experiencing fear, sadness, shame, confusion, anger etc.
Any moment may present certain feelings more on the forefront of my consciousness, but as I seem to have an untamable reflex for honesty, I can’t discount what’s there too, just a few more good questions down the line of catching up.
A few months ago I was in a breathwork session with my teacher Carly, and amidst a shifting sea of sounds, her voice guided us through a process of feeling into our own gifts, our own medicine for the world. The word that came through for me was “relatability”. Not a particularly magical or flowery word, but it made my eyes wet with tears nonetheless.
I don’t even want to be the one who has and holds the answers, and doles them out for a price. I just want to sit beside you with my own tears in my eyes, saying yes, I get it. yes, I understand. yes, I feel it too.
The awe, the wonder, the pain, the so-much-ness of being human.
You are not alone, my friend. ♡
In other somewhat related news, I’ve been making a lot of healthy-ish sweet treats in the kitchen!
Right now, baking (or making no-bake) treats for loved ones is serving as a regulating activity for me. I’m definitely not living my life from a recipe card (I am pretty sure I’m still looking for the instruction manual), but I’m finding it grounding and centering to follow directions, measure things, and produce something delightful and delicious that makes people smile.
I’ve been delivering goodies to friends and it’s been yes, literally and figuratively sweet. :)
Twice this weekend I made this black sesame plum cake - I made the first batch vegan for a gathering with flax-eggs, and the second batch with eggs as directed. Both were great!
I’m including the recipe the way that I have it, in picture-of-a-cookbook form. I ordered a bag of raw black sesame seeds online. I also made a batch of my favorite cashew cream cheese frosting to dollop beside the cake. It’s been a major hit.
Whatever you’re going through, I am sending you love and sweetness from my own tender heart!!
If you’re needing some support, reach out! ♡
aaand…PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU MAKE THIS CAKE!! + please share your favorite healthy-ish baked good recipes with me!!! Thank you!
with you + with love,
♡ mari ♡