The job-search mindset (and how not to rage-quit)
It was the middle of the day on Tuesday, and I had just come back from a burnout-fueled break to Calistoga. I was just getting my own head in the game when a good friend texted me out of the blue.
I was surprised, since last we had chatted he was going to try and make things work. Seemed like it wasn’t working. He’d done both product and UX work, and I wasn’t sure where his head was at, or what he wanted.
I sent him some listings to look at. They varied wildly. I didn’t know what would be a fit for him, which was already a bad sign for his job search.
In an hour, we were on a call. I asked him to tell me what was going on, what had changed. Listening, I heard that beyond the usual AI panic that’s sweeping the industry, it did seem like there were some toxic workplace shenanigans afoot. Conflict not being resolved, nefarious backchanneling, CEOs high on the supply of the promise of AI. All the perfect ingredients for a rage quit.
So we got down to brass tacks. Trying to solve the problems in front of him seemed impossible, so we talked about the real pragmatics of looking for a job right now:
How much runway does he have in terms of savings right now?
How stable is his wife’s work/benefits?
Can he keep working while he’s looking, or is the psychological safety of it too imperiled?
Is he able to turn off work at the end of the day, or is he ruminating at night/checking slack/other work-anxiety behaviors?
Through listening and validating his experience, talking about the real pragmatics of a job search and change right now, we were able to put the brakes on a ragequit and quick apply. These things never net out. Instead, we made a plan for a plan. To maybe start some career planning and visioning work when his temperature was down. To identify his past wins and best times in his career to try and see what kind of job could be a good fit. To set some boundaries with work and see how it could be tolerable.
We hung up. He got on a call with his CEO and managed to work through some things. No rage quit. Temperature reduced, plan for a plan made. Whew.
That same week I got a flurry of texts from another friend, also in the vein of “Hey, I gotta get out of this situation, do you know any openings.” Hadn’t heard from her in awhile, but I could feel the worry and anxiety coming through the pixels. And then another friend got laid off last week. Immediately started looking for a new role. A fully reasonable response, but one I cautioned him against.
I told all of them the same thing: you’re not ready. You don’t know what you want, and you’re going to spin your wheels. You can’t job search from fear effectively. You’ll end up in another shitty situation, one where you’re desperate to get out in under a year. Or you’re let go for cause.
Instead, sort out the runway you have: how much time you really need until you’ll need a new thing, then plan accordingly. Severance isn’t an exit bonus. It’s really a way to buy yourself some time to bring down the cortisol, take a break, go outside, and reflect. Even if it’s just for a week.
Don’t search desperate. Take time. Be strategic. Things will work out. Or, as Mike Monteiro says, “It’s not the end of the world. It’s the end of a job.”
I’ve got a few appearances coming up. Come through:
Storytelling Frameworks for Design Interviews
Chat with Yuan Wang and Josh Silverman
Tuesday, April 21st at Noon
(free)
Hiring and getting hired: How to navigate a volatile job market
Button conference, September 24-25
Good Job: Designing Interviews and Interviewing in Design
Want to talk private coaching, portfolio review or career development? Reach out any time to margo@sternlyworded.com