pattern recognition
A couple weeks ago, my aunt called me. I did not answer because I was driving. I waited until I got to my destination to call her back. During that ten minutes, I started to panic. Was it her dog? Her husband? My dad?? WHO DIED???
She was calling me from Trader Joe’s, where she couldn’t find the soda I like.
A few days later, at a tennis event, the coach set up cones in the corners of the service boxes. She told us to start serving from the opposite baseline. Whoever hit a cone would get an Amazon gift card.
I told her “No one is gonna hit a cone. We are not good enough.” She said just try, so I tossed ball after ball in the air, muttering “fuck it” as I swung.
I hit a cone.
A couple days ago a friend, who knows how much I love Robert De Niro, texted me a photo of him when he was young and hot. I immediately assumed he had died.
Nope. She just thought I would like the photo.
There’s a pattern here: Catastropic thinking (I think that’s the cognitive behavior therapy phrase). Assuming something terrible has happened when it hasn’t, or assuming something will have a negative outcome. A friend tells me I do this all the time.
The CBT stuff I’ve skimmed online suggests that anxiety can cause catastrophic thinking, which in turn heightens anxiety. If you’ve seen the new Pixar movie Inside Out 2 (took my niece to see it and we loved it), the Anxiety character is the perfect illustration.
I’m now working on recognizing this thinking as it happens, and then picking a better outcome to focus on. Better late than never? There is a long way to go from “oh God, incoming crisis” to “this is going to be awesome.” My goal is “this will be OK.”
At least until the first Tuesday in November.
Links
Science confirms high temperatures make us miserable, aggressive, and dumb. But what about people who live in really hot climates? Like, is it about what you’re used to? They also missed a huge opportunity to talk about hot flashes. (NYT)
Science has also learned that blue light from your phone before bedtime isn’t what’s keeping you awake at night. (Wired)
What to do if your male co-worker makes more than you. My answer: Work less. (The Cut)
Bestselling books by week and year, so you can see what was #1 the week you were born. (Wikipedia)
If you haven’t seen the Chaka Khan Tiny Desk Concert, they open with “Tell Me Something Good” and it’s the perfect way to start your day. (YouTube)
A tool that lets you look up any neighborhood and see how long it will take to get to amenities like grocery stores or libraries. (Close.city)
A short, mind-blowing video that shows you how a Bach Canon works. (Open Culture)
If your partner snores, maybe try this tape and please send me a photo. (Product site)
The British cheese rollers in slow motion are hilarious. (Mashable)
Mother cheetah gives birth to five tiny cubs. (The Kid Should See This)