overdoing it
[Alt text: The Pennsylvania/New Jersey state lines, painted on a bridge that crosses the Delaware River.]
After spending 3-4 weeks in almost total solitude, I went to the other extreme over the last couple weeks: Birthday parties, live music things, a road trip up and down the east coast to visit friends and retrieve my childhood dollhouse (for my niece, eventually). And in less than 12 hours I will be on a plane to San Francisco for a quick visit. Sometimes being "busy" is helpful. Yesterday I was frantically doing minor chores, trying to distract myself from Ukraine news. I know I'm overdoing it, like I'm trying to make up for lost time, while my body is like, WTF, get your ass back into bed. (I'm also convinced that when you are 100% in menopause, you still get PMS symptoms: Physical and mental fatigue, irritability, fantasies about Cheetos covered in chocolate, etc.)
At dinner last week in the Delaware River Valley, a DC friend was asking me what it was like being back here. I think of that Thailand saying, "same same but different." And that economist saying, "it's too early to tell." Late-20s me only cared about bars, nightclubs, shows, and getting from point A to point B as fast as possible. Almost-50 me is only now discovering DC architecture, Rock Creek Park trails, and parts of the city not served by the Red Line. Today, while running an errand, I walked by the apartment building where I lived in the 90s. I thought I'd feel sentimental about it, but I felt nothing at all, because a completely different person used to live there. I waited for a few memories to surface (mostly of band dudes sleeping on my floor) and then got back on the Metro.
Maybe the answer is that I am comfortable here – I have what I need and I know enough to get around – but at the same time it still feels new enough to be exciting. If I have the energy for it.
Time to pack. See some of you soon.
Links
This one’s more of a note to self, but in case it’s helpful to anyone else: “Research on media exposure to violence and conflict indicates that being an observer comes at a real psychological cost, particularly the longer we watch.” (Mashable)
A savage takedown of online “platforms” that basically nails it. (anildash)
The four main types of regrets. (BBC)
The National Cathedral has a Darth Vader gargoyle?? (Mental Floss)
I walked around this amazing neighborhood just outside the Beltway where ALL THE HOUSES are midcentury modern and I love it so much. (Wikipedia)
I wrote about my obsession with vintage/midcentury antique stores for TueNight. (Substack)
Smart-ass merit badges. This one is my favorite. (Etsy)
Photographer of ska band Passive SKAggression suggests doing a serious one. (Hard Times)
Jaboukie Young-White’s reggae joke. (Instagram)