on overthinking and getting out of your own way
Hi from the Delaware River Valley, where I'm taking care of Winston (Buttonwdown) again while his people are on vacation. He seems a lot less fearful this time. Not only can we walk by dogs his size and bigger without him having a total meltdown, he even seemed to want to sniff a smaller dog's butt a few days ago. It may still be a few years before he can engage with other dogs and not get scared/aggressive, but this is real progress.
The experts say you should let fearful dogs lead when you go on walks. A couple days ago, Winston led me to Starbucks, stopped at the door, and looked up at me like, "It's pup cup time, bitch. Get in there."
If Paddie had known about pup cups, she would have been impossible.
Anyway.
I'm reading a book called The Inner Game of Tennis (publisher's site), which came out in 1974. The writing is stilted and dated, but the premise — that we have two selves — is interesting because you can apply it to all kinds of things.
According to the author, Self 1 is the thinker or the teller, the verbal and critical one. Self 2 is the body or the doer. The best tennis performance happens when Self 2 is in charge, when you can get Self 1 to STFU.
The idea is to get out of your own head, get out of your own way, and just "let it happen." Or, as other tennis pros have told me, "relax" and "stop thinking."
There's a bit more to it, like observing what Self 2 is doing in a non-judgmental way, visualizing what you want to happen, and trusting Self 2 to get it right eventually. No mention of Gladwell's 10,000 practice hours, but that probably helps too.
Will this help my tennis game? I don't know, and don't really care. But I do like this idea of two selves, because it's a way of personalizing behavior and instincts. Like, I'm not messing something up because I'm incompetent or lazy or slow. I'm messing it up because I'm letting Self 1 get in the way of Self 2. It's almost like the cartoon angel and devil on your shoulders. You get to decide which one to listen to, and which one to (try to) ignore. Instead of "I'm wired to do XYZ wrong," this model encourages you to think of mind and body as two separate entities. The goal is to quiet the former in order to successfully engage the latter.
Easier said than done, of course. But it sounds like it's worth the effort.
Links
Paul Ford's My father's death in 7 gigabytes. (Wired)
Can't wait to see this African fashion exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. (The Cut)
For anyone else obsessed with the second season of The Bear: This t-shirt. (Redbubble)
Fishbone's new song Cubicle is perfect and Chris Dowd is a goddamn genius. (YouTube)
A comprehensive guide to dick pics. (Mashable)
There's a good chance all your local Trader Joe's employees are hooking up. (Slate)
Funny comedy special: Matteo Lane's Hair Plugs & Heartache. Made me realize how few gay comedians I'm even aware of. Send me your recs! (YouTube)
I had no idea salt could be this good (Winston's people are foodies). Ordering this stuff as soon as I get home. (Maldon Salt)
AI photos of men and women in every U.S. state. I wish they'd included DC. (Buzzfeed)